So I have been in hospital

...having major surgery and have missed all of the excitement. That was probably a blessing for me!

It was a bit upsetting on Sunday to be lying here trying to recover while knowing everything that was going on outside my window on the big world wide web. God's timing is perfect though. I'm not usually one to be able to hold back re my thoughts or feelings but put me in a hospital bed with a morphine drip and no wifi, and my trap will likely stay shut. (Make note for future reference?)

I'm still sitting in this hospital bed recovering. I don't have anything to say really. I was not aware there was even a court case happening prior to receiving the judgement in the mail. I am grateful for that. Had i known - it would have impacted my studies. I think Peter Aranyi over at the Paepae pretty much sums it all up pretty fairly. I can admit when i have made mistakes and i certainly said and did things last year - when threatened with legal action - that i would not do now. I have gotten much better at dealing with conflict. I can thank my studies for those changes in me. As i recently said to one of my  lecturers - not only am i loving the knowledge that i am gaining, i am also loving how everything that i am learning is changing me as a person - for the better.

I don't really care about the outcome of the court case. It was not based on an honest account of events but regardless of that, i just truly hope that focus can now turn to the positive things that we all have in our lives.If the outcome puts an end to this - finally - then we are all winners.

It is worth noting though - that none of the blog posts that i was initially threatened with legal action over - have been included in the latest judgement and have been allowed to remain up on my blog.

Funny that.

Is this what we want? Internet take down orders? 

As for journalists like Rob Kidd who obviously do not place much priority on writing the truth, researching facts, or maintaining his own credibility - they make me smile. Rehashing my past just makes my present seem that much more impressive! I have come a long way on the path to changing my life, and I'm going to keep going - no matter what is said about me.

People like Rob Kidd give me the opportunity to show people who are now in the situation that i was once in - that change is possible.

That always makes me feel good.

Officially half way through my degree, and straight As and A+s (which might not be the case had i been wasting time on court cases)...and a beautiful bunch of flowers from my placement agency today.

I am blessed. There is ALWAYS a bright side.

My daughter nailed her first exam

at the University of Life.

She went from having never left Howick on her own - to travelling all the way to Boise, Idaho - alone. She handled extended lay overs due to delays in Sydney, a 13 hour flight on United (apparently they do not have TV screens on their headrests and the old fashioned movie screen at the front of the plane broke half way through the flight), customs, missing her connecting flight and having to get on a rescheduled flight from San Francisco to Boise - to arrive safely in Boise with a huge smile on her gorgeous face - last night.

She gets an A+. I am so darn proud of her.

I however - am having to resit the stage of middle adulthood and letting my children grow up. I failed miserably.

I did not anticipate the emotions that having to let my babies become adults would stir up in me. If i could have any wish - it would be to take them back to an age where they didn't mind wearing matching sailor hats  again. 

I don't care that i am getting older. I do care that they are though. This is not cool. 

Rough week

It has been a rough week for me so far, and it is going to get worse before it gets better.

My baby ( I say baby but she is really my middle child ) is somewhere in San Francisco right now. For the first time since she was born, i have no idea where she actually is and cannot get in touch with her. She departed for her OE at 9am yesterday morning, and i am not enjoying the experience of having to let her go very much at all. She packed her phone charger in her check in luggage. Her phone battery went flat sometime during her 6 hour lay over in Sydney.

She is 18. She finished year 13 last year and not unlike me at that age she had no idea what she wanted to do once she left school so her father and i decided that a trip to America to spend some time with her American relatives, and taking in another part of the world would be good for her while she decides what she wants to do with her life. I have been excited for her. Not many kiwi kids can just fly off to America - and work over there - on a whim. My kids are lucky like that.

I am not feeling so lucky right now though. Seeing my daughter off to the other side of the world yesterday was a reminder of how i am always so far away from my loved ones. It took me back to when i had to fly back and forth between my own parents.

It was harder than i thought it would be to let her go. She is a young 18. She doesn't do anything on her own. A trip to Howick on her own was a big deal to her until yesterday. Her father seems to think the "sink or swim" approach to forcing her to problem solve, and get out of her shy shell and comfort zone was the best approach. I understand his logic however, a trip to Hamilton on her own might have been a bit more conducive to me remaining sane, instead of turning into the sobbing mess that i was yesterday.

Arriving back home from the airport and seeing her bed just how she always leaves it - all unmade with a half a packet of Doritos, and a half eaten bag of Skittles sitting there on her nightstand was a fairly depressing moment for me.

It was a funny coincidence that i ran into my Human Development lecturer while at the airport yesterday. I recall just about needing counseling of my own after she had spent a day covering "Middle Adulthood" with the class. Trust me - there is not much fun to look forward to in middle adulthood, and our children leaving home is one of those not so fun things. She and i had a laugh at my feelings after studying that stage of development, and how i was facing some of those changes this week.

Back to my daughter...due to a flight delay in Sydney, she missed her connecting flight out of San Francisco. I am hoping that right now she has navigated her way through customs and is waiting to get on the next available flight. She should be at her final destination in about 3 hours.

This is the first time since she was born that i have not known where she is and have no way of contacting her. My home feels that much emptier, as does the pit of my stomach. I wish she was still my little 6lb baby.

Since i have an exam tomorrow

...and most likely won't be thinking about anything other than Human Development - i thought i would get in an early Happy Anniversary to the T.

Over the last two years T has become my best friend. His strength, love, and friendship have been my saving grace at times. We have shared each other's burdens, joys, struggles, and achievements while working together towards repairing our lives.

He has taught me how it feels to know that someone on this Earth truly has my back, and that is a wonderful, amazing feeling.

 

 Back to study for me.

Street Legal

Street legal: Ten years after prostitution decriminalisation

The campaign to clean up Hunter's Corner in Papatoetoe has created some unlikely bedfellows. 

Debbie Baker, a committed Christian, set up Streetreach 12 years ago with the aim of helping prostitutes get out of the game. Back then, the New Zealand Prostitutes Collective were like, "who the heck are you?" Today the groups are allied in their opposition to a bill that would give councils power to ban street prostitutes from areas such as Hunters Corner in Papatoetoe and South Mall further down Great South Rd in Manurewa, introduce fines - for sex workers and clients and give police powers of search and arrest without warrants. 

"For me to be defending them when we are against prostitution is huge," says Baker. Though the collective sees prostitution as a legitimate choice - and since 2003 a legal one - Streetreach believes prostitution does harm to those involved. "My philosophy is to ask what happens in a person's life to make them choose to become a prostitute because I have never talked to anybody who said that when they grew up they wanted to be a prostitute." 

As well as her small team handing out hot drinks and food, Baker helps those who want to quit the industry move towards that goal.

She knows "dozens, hundreds" of prostitutes and says "lots" have exited over the years. Getting out is not as easy as it sounds and usually involves addressing complex reasons that got them into the industry. 

A parliamentary select committee is considering whether to tweak or abandon a bill drawn up by Manukau City Council and picked up by Auckland City Council after the Super City was formed. NZ First MP Leau Asenati Lole Taylor has a member's bill promoting controls. The background is a long and often bitter campaign by residents and business owners to rid their once seemly and quiet slice of Auckland life of street hookers who have lowered the tone. They are accused of scandalising and trashing the neighbourhood, having sex in public places and in daylight, fighting, shouting and leave the detritus of their trade in carparks and the back doorways of businesses. 

Positions are entrenched. The prostitutes agreed a few years ago to stop working by houses on streets adjacent to Hunters Plaza and, according to Baker, did. They don't want trouble, she says. "There are some girls who are doing naughty things out there and we talk to them and we tell them off but you cannot blame all the issues on the prostitutes." Business closures have in the past been blamed on prostitutes. There are half a dozen shops currently for lease (though one appears to have recently been taken up by a business selling legal highs) in the otherwise busy shopping strip, but times are tough everywhere and Baker says that's not the fault of the sex workers. 

Animosity is historic. When Baker spoke at a residents meeting, she was heckled. "It would totally annoy me if I was a resident, but the way they are going about it is not conducive for any change. It just gets people riled up. It's not solving a problem. 

"Unfortunately, prostitution is decriminalised; there are holes in the law but banning street prostitution [in areas such as Hunters Corner] is not going to make the problem go away."
An application Streetwise made for funding to a council community board was rejected. Why wouldn't the council want to work with the agencies who work with the girls?, "To be honest it sounds like hate. This has brought us and the collective together. The girls have rights. I might not like what they do but they have the right to work without being hated." 

The problem, according to those who want them banned from Hunters Corner and South Park, is that the law has given them all the rights without any responsibilities. Stallholders at the Friday night market in the Hunters Plaza undercover carpark must get permits, agree to strict hours of operation and clean-up, none of which applies to street prostitutes, points out John McCracken, a policeman-turned real estate agent who was born and bred in Papatoetoe and chairs the Otara-Papatoetoe Local Board. "If a manufacturing plant made as much noise as street prostitutes at night, there would be several laws or bylaws to bring it into line. Nothing exists for street prostitution." 

When Pat Taylor, chairman of the Hunters Corner Town Centre Society, does a sausage sizzle for Rotary he has to get "$2 million public liability insurance". The street sex workers get a free ride, able to work where they wish, untroubled by insurance, tax, rates, brothel fees. And all while some collect a benefit. 

Both men were active members of PRROS (Papatoetoe Residents Reclaiming Our Streets) which ran "name and shame" night patrols that provoked some violent confrontations with prostitutes. They photographed men cruising for sex, traced car registration plates for addresses and wrote warning of the risk of infection, enclosing the letters in scented pink envelopes to catch the attention of any females in the house. 

Baker describes the campaign as "vigilante stuff". Taylor baulks at the label but acknowledges some saw it that way. "At the time it was just a sheer sense of frustration that we didn't seem to be getting anywhere and it was getting worse." Taylor, an ex-banker from Howick, bought motels in Papatoetoe with a plan to stay five years. That was 18 years ago. It is a wonderful, vibrant community, he says, "a true melting pot", and the people are reasonable. Had Remuera or Newmarket had a similar problem it would have been nipped in the bud, he reckons.
The patrols stopped in 2009 after police, community groups and the prostitutes collective helped broker a voluntary curfew with sex workers who agreed to stay off the streets between 6pm and 6am. 

It had seemed logical to let both the sellers and buyers of sex know they were unwelcome and numbers did reduce for a while, says Taylor. At the peak the group claimed 30 prostitutes were working the streets around Hunters Corner, though the Collective disputed the figure. Mo Fameitau, the local business association's crime prevention officer, puts the number now at 20 to 25 on a busy night, though Baker, who visits twice a week, says it is less. 

Fameitau says a turf war that in November erupted into a brawl between local prostitutes and outsiders had settled down as the groups got used to one another. Otherwise the problems were the same: alcohol, fighting, harassing drivers, and the mess - tissues, condoms, sometimes faeces. 

During shop hours Fameitau, a Tongan, will move the prostitutes on from the mall and "School Corner" (outside Papatoetoe Central School) a block to the south in a cat and mouse game. "They just tell me to go back to my country," says Fameitau. "They put the finger up. 'Get out of my own land, I can do whatever I want'." 

Decriminalisation was seen as a way of reducing the risk of harm for prostitutes. Research suggests the Prostitution Reform Act 2003, which made prostitution legal, has been a boon for brothels but expectation that street workers would choose to move indoors hasn't occurred. There has been little change nationally in the number working on the streets. Some did private work as well but few reported giving up street work, researcher Dr Gillian Abel said in a 2012 paper funded by the Health Research Council and the Justice Ministry. 

"The most marginalised prefer the streets for what to them are very good reasons," Abel wrote. "The money and autonomy made sense to them." Those on the streets were more likely than those working from brothels or home to have some Maori blood, be transgender and under the age of 18. Many had drug habits to support. They could attract more clients on the street and spend less time with them. 

"There are motivations to work on the street and different perceptions of risk that will ensure that the size of this sector is unlikely to change significantly ... Applying more stringent regulations to this vulnerable sector is not the answer." 

Which leaves the question of location. Should it be left to happenstance or be governed?
Putting prostitution on a legal footing was driven by the goals of improving health and decreasing exploitation of sex workers - with a by-product being savings on police resources. As for location, the law allows councils to refuse resource consent for brothels in places where it was likely to cause "a nuisance or serious offence to ordinary members of the public". But when it comes to restricting where sex can be sold on the streets, the law is silent. 

McCracken says he has been surprised by opposition to imposing controls on street prostitution. "I wonder at the wisdom of an act that offers these people the freest form of commercial activity in New Zealand. What were we expecting? Harmonious social behaviour? For all street workers to decide of their own accord to keep the noise down and retire by 10pm in consideration of the community (giving them time to do their GST returns)?" 

Once upon a time Hunters Corner was a popular drive into the countryside, topped off with a visit to Elizabeth Hunter's famous tearooms, which gave the locality its name. Now it's a 20-minute commute from downtown Auckland and is so notorious that North & South magazine reported that a courier package addressed to "Hookers Corner" was delivered without question. 

Blame the Great Blackout of 1998. The CBD became a deserted place of humming generators while at Hunters Corner, the red light went on. Attracted by the lights of Papatoetoe, which was on another electrical circuit, the girls and queens of the night settled in with their latex boots and sequins. The customers soon learned where to find them - and there went the neighbourhood. 

"We are not trying to recriminalise prostitution," says McCracken, "it's about where it has the least impact." The bill would let local politicians specify where street sex workers couldn't operate, but they would first have to prove it had caused a problem. No-go areas might include anywhere within 250 metres of residential areas and schools. 

"We are not here because of businesses screaming loudest. It's the poor bloody residents. People have moved out of bedrooms that face the road and into garages so they can get a decent night's sleep. You tell me that is fair. Why is it then that are we bending over backwards to accommodate these street workers who don't give a toss about society? 

"We get thrown back at us this Justice Department report where we are meant to make all these changes ... fencing off carparks and the backs of businesses, having the toilets open 24 hours. They were using them as brothels. These were supposedly toilets that couldn't be destroyed. Well, we had to repair them so many times it became cost-prohibitive. So how much does a community have to spend on maintaining an environment just to accommodate the business of prostitution?" 

The bill is opposed by NZ Police who say gathering evidence would be costly, requiring undercover officers and surveillance. 

Georgina Beyer, the world's first transsexual mayor and a former prostitute who went to school in Papatoetoe and who championed the push to decriminalise sex work, told the Herald it was naively assumed that when prostitution was liberalised street workers would all but disappear. They were a subculture and though she has suggested the law be looked at again, she says making it illegal in certain areas may not change much at all. "It wouldn't matter what regulations you put around it, it's going to operate wherever its going to operate,"she says. "For street walkers it's where there happens to be a client."

I have so many different views regarding this. My brain is a cognitively dissonant mass of contradictions after reading that article.

• I completely agree with Debbie Baker in regards to her view that prostitution is damaging to everyone involved in it. That no one grows up aspiring to be a prostitute. Not dissimilar to addiction, there is usually an underlying cause for that choice in terms of past trauma for the individual involved. I don't agree with New Zealand society's attempt to normalise this profession decriminalised abuse of another, less fortunate person's body.

• I don't agree that the decriminalisation of prostitution in New Zealand has made prostitution safer for the people involved. You only have to refer to the recent case of Paul Nieuwenhuiysen , and the not guilty verdict in regards to that rape, to realise that no amount of decriminalisation is going to get any jury to believe that a prostitute did not consent - or ask for it. Prostitutes are in just as much danger as they were prior to 2003 - if not more - due to the fact that the law change made it easier for women to work alone and in private. Brothels are not nice places and their owners are not nice people, but they generally ensure the safety of their workers via security, drivers etc.

• I don't agree that street prostitution should be legal. I would not want it happening outside my business, or home, or for my children to be having to sidestep used condoms on their way to school. I was in Hunter's Corner for the first time in years, to watch my daughter's hockey game on Thursday afternoon. I had lived in Hunter's Corner for a brief time back in 1991, when Hunter's Plaza was brand new. I went for a walk on Thursday to try to find somewhere to buy a nice coffee. The changes that i witnessed to that area, since the last time i had been there were sad. I never did find a place to buy a coffee. Despite the Papatoetoe Sports Centre being better than any facility that Howick currently provides - i hope i do not have to return to watch another game. 

• I don't agree with penalising already vulnerable and marginalised people in our society. People who are involved in street prostitution are in some ways the most vulnerable and marginalised members of our society. Although in saying that - I once had three transgender street prostitutes in the back seat of my car, and they certainly did not seem vulnerable to me at the time. I still look back on that and a shiver goes up my spine. I feel fortunate to have escaped that little incident without getting a stiletto in the temple. 

• I laughed to myself at McCracken's suggestion that the workers use their free time after 10pm to do their tax returns. He obviously has a sense of humour. 

• Georgina Beyer hit the nail on the head with the last sentence of that article. No clients = no street workers. Any law change needs to focus on the men who solicit sex from street workers, rather than the people who are already on the lowest rung of society's ladder. 

Confused? 

Me too. 

I do not envy the residents or business owners of Hunter's Corner. 

Greed - That is how

Drug Case: Kiwi faces life sentence

The pregnant boss of a Christian charity who allegedly smuggled 8.5kg of drugs into Australia has been denied bail in Darwin. 

Bernadine Prince, 41, appeared before magistrate John Neill yesterday on three charges related to importing, possessing and supplying drugs. 

The mother of three and chief executive of the Oasis of Grace Christian mission faces life in prison if found guilty. 

Prosecutor Raphael De Vietri alleged that on May 24 two suitcases owned by Prince were found containing seven backpacks that had methamphetamine and heroin concealed in their lining. 

Prince, a New Zealand citizen, was allegedly found with two passports in different names and six credit cards in several names. 

Mr De Vietri said Prince had claimed the suitcases were given to her on a trip to Kenya, where her mission does charity work, by a stranger known only as "Mummy Rose". 

Defence counsel Michael Burrows said importing drugs did not fit with Prince's background.
"How does a person go from being CEO of an international Christian mission to being an international drug trafficker?" Mr Burrows asked.

Michael Burrows asks that question like somehow being a Christian makes this woman above being capable of committing a crime.

The answer is simple.

Greed. Some of the greediest and most dishonest people i have ever met claim to be Christians.

At least Sharon Armstrong had a half way plausible explanation for her predicament. I doubt any judge is going to believe that there are women running around Kenya just busting to give away suitcases loaded with methamphetamine to strangers.

Really.

A+s galore!

Too many to count.

One B+, and all the rest A+s this entire term. I am still waiting on the results of my psych exam and the mark for the presentation to probation officers, but i felt super awesome when i had completed each one so i am very optimistic.

The 3000 word annotated bibliography on harm reduction was a time consumer but i managed to get it submitted with 2.5 hours to spare.

One more exam - on Monday - for Human Development to get through and then i am half way to getting to wear one of those fancy square hats.

The better my grades have gotten - the more determined to keep getting A+s i have become. I have done nothing but  live and breathe my studies, since February.

I am looking forward to mid term break - even though it won't be much of a break!

I received my student loan statement from IRD in the mail yesterday and was so grateful for it.

J Williams is back

Troubled hip hop star turns life around

I knew he could and would do it.

J Williams tells of demons and fears

J Williams - I just can't write him off

Really disappointing and shameful

Racist cartoon sadly insensitive

Illusory correlation, fundamental attribution error, defensive attribution...too many negative social judgements and bias theories displayed by Al Nisbet to even name them all. 

Very unfortunate that any media outlet in New Zealand would publish this. 

Deadlines

I have given myself until the end of today to wrap up this psych assignment. I have done the nervous system, and brain and behaviour - which is the main part.  Now on to learning, memory and behaviour. Classical conditioning, operant conditioning, observational learning - Pavlov's dogs and all that jazz. Motivation and emotion after that - then it is all done.

Which leaves me three full days to study social behaviour before the exam on Thursday.

I received two more A+s this week. 97/100 for my Human Development essay. 94/100 for my Moral Panic / Social Stigma presentation, and an A for my cultural assessment and intervention plan. Still waiting on two more marks - Assessment and Intervention Planning's comprehensive assessment which was the monster 3500 words, and my Clinical Practice presentation re the Justice Department and how they work with my placement agency.

Life. Is. Good. I am just a bit tired at the moment!