Step Out in Faith and Do It

'We walk by faith, not by sight.' 2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV

It's not that you don't know this, it's that you keep forgetting it and need to be reminded of it: God can use you! Yes, the same God who worked through Moses and Esther, Deborah and Paul, works today through imperfect people like you and me. He can give you victory in the place of defeat and turn last year's humiliation into this year's celebration. All the great achievers in the Bible had one thing in common: they were just ordinary people who took risks in obedience to God, believed Him and ended up doing amazing things.

Can you imagine trying to fill Moses' shoes? God had used him to dry up the Red Sea, wipe out the Egyptian army, receive the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai and feed millions of Israelites every day in the wilderness. How would you like to follow someone like that? The thought of it must have shaken Joshua to his core. But God reassured him: 'No man shall be able to stand before you...as I was with Moses, so I will be with you...' (Joshua 1:5 NKJV). Once he heard those words he had the confidence needed to pick up where Moses left off.

The Bible says, 'We walk by faith, not by sight.' The devil doesn't mind you speaking words of faith as long as you don't take steps of faith. So trust God. When He says something to you it's always for a good reason. When He tells you to do something, He will give you the strength and resources to do it. What's God asking you to do? Step out in faith and do it!

Lots of things going on here in my world lately.

Billy has purchased his first car. It is redder, faster, and noisier than what i had envisioned for him - which is a worry - but he is happy. If i had my way - he would be putting around in a Morris Minor like the boys did back in the 80s. Now a third of my mother taxi duties have been relinquished and replaced with the worry that my son is driving around on the roads with people like Dre Oakley.

Great.

It is T's first day at Uni today. I am jealous of him - getting to start before me. I have to wait until next week for my first lecture. I am excited for him as well though, and also excited about my new "stepmother" duties. He gets his children back for a week today and i get to pick them up from school all by myself because he will still be in the city when they finish. Whoa - it is like we are becoming a real family. I would say that i will have my eyes peeled for Ms Pop Up - but that kind of blew over as fast as it blew in. It was a total non event.

I have been saddened by a response that T received from his sister these past few days. She lives in London, and he has not seen her or had contact with her for 6 years. The last time he saw her he was wasted on P and things did not end well. I had encouraged contact with her just like i had encouraged him to contact his parents. I kind of wish i hadn't now. I do not know the full story of what happened back then but it is clear from the email exchange that forgiveness and moving forward is not one of her fortes. T had warned me this would most likely be the case, but i encouraged him to try anyway - and now i kinda wish i hadn't! Whale Oil's post re The Cult of Victimism pretty much sums her and their correspondence up. T tried to explain how frail and ill their mother is - the sister has no contact with the parents either - and the response he received went like "YES YES when mum was dying 6 years ago i did this and that for her...."

That was about when i told T to give up.

Still - not a happy outcome and it kind of makes me sad. I won't dwell on that too much though. Forgiveness is a hard thing to learn - i remember that well. I just hope her words don't get T too down. The whole thing made me want to hug my own sisters. We have had some nasty arguments in the past - huge fights - but we have always managed to remain close.

Hmmm - What else? I received a job offer yesterday. I received an email from someone that i used to know offering me a job managing a brothel.

Unfortunately - i had to decline. As much as the extra money would be wonderful right now - not only would  encouraging damaged women to damage their lives further not sit well on my conscience - i can think of nothing worse than having a bunch of cats who are competing with men for their money in my life again.

Talk about the enemy trying to stick an oar in! I have never been more grateful to be grateful for what i have. I will take the broke road thanks.

What on earth is wrong with Sue Bradford?

I do not GET this woman.  She is apparently supposed to be supportive of the poor - yet she seems to want to hinder any help that our government wants to give them in order to work towards making a better life for themselves.

Shouldn't people be happy with the thought of receiving more assistance with getting into employment? Doesn't the thought of being independent of the state and being able to provide for oneself - and their family - make for a brighter future?

The government is not saying - if you can't find a job you are on your own - you get nothing. The government is saying we are going to try to help you get out of the rut that you are in. They have actually offered MORE money to young people who are willing to train for employment.

What is Sue's problem with that? She is supposed to be supportive of the poor and people on welfare benefits yet she appears to want to put her foot on their heads and keep them right where they are - in their ruts.

I do not understand Sue Bradford.

Two words for Keisha Castle-Hughes

Keisha in Oscar night assault

The on-off boyfriend of Keisha Castle-Hughes has been charged with assaulting the Academy Award-nominated actress following an Oscars function in Auckland.

Michael Graves, 22, says he was trying to stop the Whale Rider star, 21, jumping from a moving car during an argument on the way to get food.

The pair spent Tuesday afternoon at an Oscars party at the Pullman Hotel with Castle-Hughes' fellow Almighty Johnsons television cast members. Castle-Hughes tweeted throughout the party, directing one to Graves: "drunker than you #drunklife".

 He replied: "exactly so stop it".

Alcoholics. Anonymous.

For someone like Keisha Castle-Hughes to be binge drinking like this, and bragging via Twitter that she is more intoxicated than her partner - like getting drunk as fast as possible is some kind of competition that she should be proud of winning - is disgraceful.

Get help Keisha. There are young people out there that look up to you.

Q and A time

Q  - How do you know if you can trust your hypnotist?
A - He is not wearing an ankle bracelet!


Ex-pimp told to stop hypnotist work

Tare Kahu Ashwell - Pimp/Hypnotist

A former pimp, who was advertising himself as a hypnotist, had his "inappropriate" business shut down by Community Probation Services yesterday.

Tare Kahu Ashwell was told he could not continue his services while subject to a home detention sentence and ordered to cancel his advertisements.

Ashwell was sentenced to four months' home detention with six months' post detention conditions last month for entering into an agreement with a 16-year-old to supply commercial sexual services to a male.

Community Probation Services general manager Katrina Casey said people on home detention could be employed with approval.

Ashwell said he had asked probation if he could run his business and was told "that's fine". Mrs Casey said he had not asked.

"The offender did not seek our approval to establish the business in question. Had he done so, it would not have been approved and is clearly inappropriate," she said.

He had been directed to stop or he would be subject to enforcement action, which also applied to his post-detention conditions.

He advertised himself as "The Hypnotist" and provided services to stop smoking, drinking, gambling and that he could improve memory, sex life and confidence.

In his ad he says "Be in control of your life now, take a stand".

How can you be in "control of your life" when you are hypnotised!?!?!

I went to a hypnotist during one of my many attempts to quit smoking. Yep - sometime back in like 1996 - two friends and i all paid a couple hundred bucks each to get hypnotised in an effort to give up our nasty habits.

After being assured that even the smell of a cigarette or the sight of an ashtray would make us sick by the time he was finished with us - all three of us proceeded to light up again before we were even back in our cars.

I wish i could remember that particular con man's name. I'm pretty sure though - that he was not wearing an ankle bracelet so my Q and A time today is not entirely foolproof - but it would be your first clue!

Christie's Law Bail Protest

'Christie's Law' bail protest 'restores faith'

T and i headed into this today. The T was not all that keen and warned me that he was only going to watch from across the road. He agrees with what Peter Williams QC has said and it is T's opinion that the demands that Christie's Law are making are so extreme and over the top that no one will take it seriously - and they will get nothing changed.

Commenting earlier this morning, Prison Reform Society President Peter Williams QC said the bail laws are already tough, and a person's freedom should not be taken away unless they are found guilty.

He said bail is there for people facing serious crimes and sometimes mistakes are made. "If every time there is a tragedy, there is an emotional response, as was done with the provocation law, our law would be based on poor foundations. "Our heart goes out to the victim but our laws cannot be based on emotion.''

Criminal Bar Association vice president John Anderson told Radio New Zealand this morning the changes being sought were `"over the top''. "You've got to realise that a lot of people who are charged are found not guilty. It would be terrible if everyone was simply locked up on the assumption that because the police charge them they're guilty. It would be hugely unjust,'' he said.

"The bail laws in general work pretty well. By all means review them, examine them - we're not opposed to that - but to tighten them to an extreme measure as the proponents of this petition are asking for is just simply over the top.''

Yeah yeah poor criminals. They are all innocent aren't they? Even after they have been convicted - most of them still spend their lives crying about how innocent they are. Look at the case of David Tamihere who is in the paper just this morning STILL claiming to be innocent - and wanting tax payers to pay for a new trial. This - AFTER he has already been paroled for the murders that he committed.

Sooo David - you just happened to be the last person seen with the murdered couple. You then drove around in their car for two weeks after stealing it because you knew it would not be reported stolen - because they were dead. Then you kept their clothing and other items that you had stolen off them for the Police to find at your home when you were arrested  all because you are innocent. Never mind the fact that you were in the bush at the time of the murders because you were in hiding - wanted for rape. You had also already been convicted of manslaughter for hitting a stripper over the head - killing her. Despite all of this though - you are just a lovely chap who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Huh?

I would bet that the people who put their hands in the air and say "Oops i broke the law - you got me!" to the Police while they are being arrested are few and far between.  Yep - if we are to believe the criminals - they are all innocent.

You cannot take the emotions away from this issue. What you can do though, is apply the changes of Christie's Law based on the amount of evidence that the Police have in any particular case.

When you have David McNaughton releasing people like Ashkay Chand who clearly had kidnapped Christie - there was no question that he was the offender - and the likes of Paul Nieuwenhuiysen on serious drugs charges  - Paul wasn't hanging out with 20k worth of someone else's drugs - the whole guilty until proven innocent argument doesn't wash.  A judge should look at the evidence and make a bail decision based on the likelihood of a conviction. Shouldn't they?

The amazing thing about all of this? David McNaughton is the same judge that denied Kim Dotcom bail.

Where is the consistency?

Kidnapping, murder, rape, drug dealing = bail.
Copyright Infringement  = no bail.

SERIOUSLY?

I guess that goes to show what our justice system values more.

So needless to say - i left the T standing across the road by himself. We did walk back to the car together though. ;)

Dre Oakley = proof that marijuana causes brain damage

If this kid is not brain damaged i do not know what is...



Carol Oakley needs to be phoning the police every single time her son gets behind the wheel - before he kills someone. It scares the hell out of me that there are parents that know their children are behaving like this - and do nothing but make excuses for them.

Perhaps if she had not inflicted her kid with silly name syndrome from the day he was born he would not be such an idiot.

T and i are off to take Billy to look at cars today. He is buying his first car. This was not what i needed to see this morning.

Honestly - how does a parent manage to raise such an idiot?

Dear Knob Rot

Rapist to sue Corrections for $1 million

One of New Zealand's most notorious sex offenders is suing the Corrections Department for $1 million over claims he was made to sleep on a thin mattress and use small towels. Nicholas Reekie also claims he was tortured by having his arm twisted behind his back and forced to eat dry sandwiches while prison guards enjoyed fry-ups at Auckland's Paremoremo Prison High Care Unit.

Prison is not the Hilton. If you wanted to sleep on a nice comfy mattress and dry yourself with thick absorbent towels - you should have thought about that before committing your repulsive offences.

The prison guards that have to look after repulsive people like you have not broken the law - therefor if they want to eat caviar in front of you while you are fed spam - too bloody bad. Get used to it because you have at least 16 more years of it.

In a long-running legal case, which is expected to cost taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars, Reekie said he was deprived of adequate light, didn't have enough toilet paper, and was called "knob rot" by guards after developing a genital infection.

Poor Knob Rot. :(

Hopefully it falls off.

Lucy Lawless and oil drilling

Ice drilling madness: Lawless

Ink, Crayons, Bubble gum, Dish washing liquids, Deodorant, Eyeglasses, CDs and DVDs, Tyres, Ammonia, Heart valves , Hair brushes, Brake fluid, Paint, Parachutes, Artificial limbs, Life jackets, EVERYTHING made of plastic, Detergent, Flower pots, Hairspray, Umbrellas, Medicine, Lipstick / cosmetics , Shower curtains, Drink bottles, Rollerblades, Insect repellent, Golf balls, Toothbrushes, Toilet seats, Carpet, Glue, Telephones, Bike helmets, Eye glasses, Roads...Etc. Etc. Etc.

I could go on and on and on - all things made with oil. So if Lucy Lawless uses one or more of those things that requires oil - she is a hypocrite.

Oil is in everything and humans need it to survive.

When the oil runs out - we are stuffed - but in the meantime we still need to use it. I challenge Lucy Lawless, Greenpeace, or anyone to go an hour without it.

It won't happen.

Yes it sucks mouldy arse that we have to drain our planet of it's blood to survive. I am all for preserving our environment but Lucy even travelling to New Zealand, making her way to that boat, and using her celebrity status to get Greenpeace attention - used more oil than if she had actually done something productive - like stayed home and worked on the demand side issue because that is the only thing that will stop the oil companies.

No demand = no supply = no profit = no oil companies.

Until Lucy Lawless and Greenpeace start focusing on that - rather than getting their mugs in the news - they are just hypocrites.

This is what crazy looks like via text message

Oh. My. Gosh.

This is the funniest thing i have heard in forever. You HAVE to listen to it. It is 8 minutes of pure hilarity.




I was not in the mood to write anything today. I have had a pretty crappy couple of days - which i might write about another time - and i might not. This though - had the girls and i laughing so hard that i forgot about my troubles and just about wet my pants laughing for 8 whole minutes.

The actual texts can be read here...

Whale Oil on Tania Wysocki

Cameron phoned me yesterday to tell me a few things about Tania Wysocki. I have been dying all night to read what he was going to write about her.

You see - unlike most bloggers and their commenters who have sat around on their high horses bleating on about bludgers and suggesting that Tania Wysocki or "this lady" as they seem to enjoy referring to her as should;

Ride a bike from Pukekohe to Mt Albert every day.
Bake her own bread.
Own a cow so that she can get free milk.
Live in Wanganui so that she can pay only $120 a week in rent.
Not study at all because a vet nurse only gets paid 2k more a year than her benefit is so she should just not bother getting off a benefit at all.
Buy her bread out in Parakai because you can get three loaves for $4.50 out there!

I nearly forgot about the exceptional  display of "I raised 12 kids while shoveling sh*t and living on my savings" martyrdom skills that i have witnessed - The Whale took the time to actually talk to Tania and find out what she is about.

Nothing that he said about her on the phone yesterday surprised me - and i doubt anything that he writes will surprise me either.

Whaleoil - Pimping the Poor
Whaileoil - Pimping the Poor Cont...
Whaleoil - Pimping the Poor - Labour Collude With the Herald
Whaleoil - Pimping the Poor Ctd...The Issue

I am really looking forward to hearing the full story - Tania's story - instead of just the story that the media wanted us to hear in order to sell papers  - and that Labour wanted us to hear in order to embarrass our government.

Maybe more people will grow a sense of empathy in relation to Tania's plight. I won't hold my breath though. With all those fantastic suggestions above on how to make a better life for her children it must be hard for people to understand why she might need assistance at all!

Huh?

Quote of the Day

Former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn questioned in prostitution case

DSK's lawyer on his brilliant defence strategy in relation to possible pimping charges his client is now facing;

One of Strauss-Kahn's lawyers has said that the former French presidential hopeful never knew that the women at orgies he attended were prostitutes. "He could easily not have known, because as you can imagine, at these kinds of parties you're not always dressed, and I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman," Henri Leclerc told French radio Europe 1 in December

Next - he will be requesting a line up.

If being gross was illegal - the naked women of this world would be safe from Dominque Strauss-Kahn.

Forever.

Sick of the tragedy porn?

If you are sick of the tragedy porn that we have been subjected to in relation to the Christchurch earthquake for the past week - you can read something a bit more respectful and positive on Keeping Stock. 

I got a bit angry this morning when i saw a One News link that encouraged me to go to the TVNZ website in order to listen to the 111 calls from February 22nd last year. It was the straw that broke my tragedy porn tolerating back.

No i do not want to listen to the 111 calls. No i do not want to watch the same footage that i have seen over and over for the past year - that does nothing but dredge up awful memories for the victims. No i do not want to ogle and be entertained by other people's misery and heartbreak. No i do not want to see an excited John Campbell trying to contain his smile while he talks about death and destruction. I mean c'mon John - at least stop smiling while you are waving your hands around and talking about how awful the situation of the person you are interviewing is!

It is a sad reflection on our society that the media are competing with each other to see who can come up with the most heartbreaking and tragic story - for ratings.

As someone commented on my Facebook page;

At the conclusion of WWII the population of earth were not subjected to a first anniversary reflection on the tragic destruction and loss of life, but the joy of a new start and optimism for the future. I know of so many people who are getting on with normal life in Christchurch, and they never receive any media coverage, only those who complain and whinge about hardships ... well it's time to move on and rebuild, not continue to tear down ... the past is gone, lost, we live in the present, and our hope is in the future ...In all this I've not seen a single article in the media about the plans for the Chch CBD ... when there has been plenty of work happening ... the media are like filthy flies congregating on a rotting corpse ... and it's time to apply some fly spray.

I have fly spray. It's a big fat can of NOT TUNING IN until i hear some stories of  hope, rebuilding, respect for the victims, and a positive future.

Here is a tribute by the New Zealand Fire Service to all emergency services that responded on the day. The final image in this video is heartwarming - it just simply says "Thanks for helping our city". That hand written sign made the whole video worth watching. It showed gratitude - even during such hard times.

Isn't that amazing?

I almost wish i was in prison

...so that i could meet him.

Kennedy kin takes addiction fight to NZ

Chris Kennedy Lawford has had a life less ordinary: a nephew to John F. Kennedy, a famous actor for a father and a childhood that included dancing with Marilyn Monroe.

But the actor and author is not in New Zealand to discuss his movie career acting alongside Anthony Hopkins or his cousin-in-law Arnold Schwarzenegger. The United Nations Goodwill Ambassador on drug dependence and treatment is here as a guest of the NZ Drug Foundation, spreading the word about the dangers of addiction.

"I was a pig at the gate. I basically took anything and everything. I was looking for a way out and anything that could get me there," said Mr Lawford, the son of actor Peter Lawford and Pat Kennedy, the sister of JFK.

"I shouldn't be here today. I died four times. I overdosed. I was dead on the gurney. Four times. In emergency rooms with things in my collapsed lungs. Gone."

He said 10 per cent of the general population suffer from addiction.

"A kid that suffers great trauma in their adolescence is much more susceptible to addiction disease later in life, especially if their parents had it.

"That's what happened to me. I come from alcoholism, I come from divorce, two of my uncles (John and Robert Kennedy) were brutally assassinated publicly. I was an angry, terrified kid at the age of 13 and drugs and alcohol gave me a way out.

"I was in the eighth grade, and when that thing (first drug) went into my system, all bets were off. What people don't understand is that if you have this thing, you can't just say 'no'."

He spent 17 years battling addiction, often hitting bottom.

"There was always this overwhelming dread of feeding the 800-pound gorilla. When can I go to the bar? When will I have enough? Will I get sick today? To live with that is hell, the first drink or first joint in the morning, just to get out of bed.

"I was going to follow my uncle Jack, JFK, my hero. I was to study history, win a Pulitzer Prize, become a war hero, overcome a major health problem and at 43, become President.

"But I moved in next door to a commune of heroin addicts, and that was the end of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Thomas Jefferson and hello to emergency rooms and doctors."

He still remembers vividly when his moment of clarity struck him.

"It was February 17, 1986. it was a freezing cold day in Boston. I was at the end. I had tried everything humanly possible - doctors, experimental drugs, drug therapy, changing girlfriends, going to graduate school, locking myself in a room for a week at a time to detox.

"That morning, I was done. I would have done anything. I thought I had to kill myself, because I couldn't get sober. I can't live like this. This is torture. But I didn't have a gun."

He called a cousin, who had recovered from addiction, who told him to go back to recovery groups.

"There's this magical ingredient for some people, and it's spiritual. It's attrition. If you have to knock on the door 500 times, you have to keep knocking until the door opens."

Mr Lawford eventually benefited after over 10 years of treatment, and said it was no-brainer to pour resources into treatment and prevention - even though there is no silver bullet.

"If you spend $1 on treatment, the benefit to society is $7 back. And you get $5 back from every dollar you spend on prevention. My message is that treatment works, and if we invest the money, we'll see the return."

He spent Monday at Arohata Prison, where he met a group of women with P addictions undergoing a six-month treatment programme.

"Many will relapse, but three or four of them won't, and they will no longer be a drain on society. They will become taxpayers and productive members of society."

He said addiction was often misunderstood, and it did not prevent him from functioning. He gained an arts degree from Tufts University, a doctorate from Boston College Law School and a Masters Certification in Clinical Psychology from Harvard Medical School - all while immersed in addiction.

"If you think all drug addicts are lying in the gutter, think again. They're mums, professors, lawyers, politicians. They're everywhere."

Now 56 and sober for 26 years, Mr Lawford still has to urge to escape - he just uses different methods.

"I drink caffeine like a banshee. I go to bikram yoga everyday, and when I'm in a cold place I have a hot bath and a cold shower just to shut my mind off.

"I have four kids who have never seen me drunk or stoned. I've been a father, an actor, I've made movies, written three (addiction-related) books, I'm a UN ambassador. I'm here, a productive, a useful member of society."

I don't care, care, care

'I am gay, gay, gay' says Kath & Kim star

Australian comedian Magda Szubanski has come out of the closet.

"I am gay, gay, gay, gay gay, gay gay," the Kath & Kim star announced to Australian current affairs show The Project.

"Now when I say that, what it means is I am absolutely not straight," the 50-year-old said.

Szubanski - who is working on a film version of her hit TV show, in which she plays bumbling friend Sharon Strzelecki - said friends and family had known about her sexuality for years, but admitting it publicly was a big decision.

"Why did I take a while to do this? I needed to be as solid as I could be so I could do this in the strongest possible way and be really clear about myself," New Idea reported her as saying to radion station 3AW.

Why do gay and lesbian people feel the need to advertise what they do in the privacy of their own bedrooms and who they do it with - to the entire world? Why do they think it is such a big deal? Other than other gays and lesbians i don't think anyone gives a toss. I have no idea why they have to be so nosy on each other's sex lives but can't they just keep it to themselves???

No one cares. Anyone would think these people had found a cure for cancer - the way they make these big announcements.

The only thing this latest outing has done is put me off my breakfast. I could have done without the mental image of Magda Szubanski having sex with ANYONE - let alone...Never mind. I won't go there!

Matt McCarten's Life Insurance Policy is For Sale

Dying union boss seeks buyer for life policy

Union head Matt McCarten wants to sell his life insurance policy to help pay $153,000 in unpaid taxes and bills, saying he does not want to "die with debt".

Mr McCarten has terminal cancer. His company, Unite Support Services, was put into liquidation last year with unpaid bills totalling $152,801 to creditors, including at least $100,000 to Inland Revenue.

Mr McCarten said his insurance policy was worth about $230,000 and he had learned only recently that it could be sold off for somebody else to collect on after he died - giving him money in the hand.

"I didn't know people did that. So I said I must be a prime candidate."

The National Business Review reported yesterday that Mr McCarten was considering selling his life insurance policy. The paper learned of its existence in the most recent insolvency report.

Mr McCarten said he was doing other work to pay off the debt, but it would take time.

Last September, he was told the cancer had spread to his liver and he had a 0.8 per cent chance of survival.

He was given between six weeks and six months to live.

"So if someone wants to buy my life insurance, great. It's a good investment because my percentages aren't great. And I don't want to die with debt, and certainly not to the taxpayer."

Good on you Matt. I think the last thing that most of us would be thinking about when facing death - would be the Inland Revenue Department. I know they would not be high on my bucket list.

My prayers are with Matt McCarten and his family. If i could say one thing to him it would be this;

It's MONEY. Who cares? Spend your time focusing on the important things in life - and money ain't one of them.

I get to study T

I'm just doing a bit of light reading this afternoon. I thought i would get a head start on my Sociology studies.

I wonder when would be a good time to break it to T that he is included in the "Fall From Grace" section of the on - going themes in relation to the Moral Panic of Methamphetamine?!?!

Uh oh - he is yelling about Breach of Copyright and it not being fair that the Howick housewife is not included!

T is such an over achiever. ;)

Knowing What's 'Right' For You

'...It would not be right for us...' Acts 6:2 NIV

The New Testament church grew so fast that the apostles couldn't keep up with it. So they said, 'It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the Word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the Word' (Acts 6:2-4 NIV). As a result the Word of God spread, the church kept growing, and key leaders in the city of Jerusalem were won to Christ.

It's vital that you discover the area where you add the most value - and stay there. Why don't we? (1) Turf guarding. We think, 'This is my job; nobody does it but me.' Just because you've always done a particular job doesn't mean you should keep doing it. What if God wants to write a new chapter in your life? (2) Being overloaded. People with too much on their plate tend to reject the very thing that will help them, thinking it's just one more burden to carry. (3) The martyr complex. When complaining about your lot in life gets you the attention of others, you make it a lifestyle. But it doesn't work. People begin to avoid you because they don't see you doing anything to change the situation. (4) Not knowing what's 'right' for you. Only when the apostles delegated the administrative side of things to others and got back to what they were called to do, did things start to go right. Think about it.

My only complaint this morning is the fact that i woke up at the T's house and had to drive across town at 6 am - in order to beat the traffic - without one tiny bit of caffeine in my system!

Apparently the T does not think it is important to ensure that he has coffee for the following morning prior to going to bed.

What. The. Heck?!?!

I made it home, got my caffeine fix, then promptly had to phone him and apologise for the "I hate my life" wailing that he had to endure prior to my departure this morning.

He laughed and told me i am cute. If that is not proof that love is not only blind - it is definitely deaf as well - i do not know what is.

One more reason to become a vegetarian

Honestly - this is so gross. It has turned my stomach this morning.

Fries with your synthetic burger?

Corpses hanging around at the local butcher could be a thing of the past.

The world's first hamburger made with a synthetic meat protein derived from bovine stem cells will be publicly consumed this October after being prepared by a celebrity chef, according to the inventor of the artificial mince.

Heston Blumenthal is the favourite to be asked to cook the €250,000 ($393,000) hamburger, which will be made from 3000 strips of synthetic meat protein grown in fermentation vats.

I don't know what is worse - the thought of eating real meat after looking at that photo - or the thought of eating man made meat produced in some laboratory out of stem cells.

The case for and against lab meat

Pros

* Billions of animals would be spared from factory farms and slaughterhouses.
* Would reduce environmental impacts of livestock production, which the UN estimates accounts for 18 per cent of greenhouse-gas emissions.
* Could reduce by 90 per cent the land- and water-use footprint of production.
* A more sustainable way to meet growing demand from China and India; expected to double global consumption by 2040.
* Free of hormones, antibiotics, bacteria and engineered to contain less fat.
* Would reduce the threat of swine and avian flu outbreaks.

Cons

* Consumers may find the notion of lab-grown meat creepy or unnatural.
* For some vegetarians, it perpetuates "meat addiction" rather than promoting non-meat alternatives.
* Risks of eating red meat, such as an increased threat of bowel cancer, remain.
* Animals will still have to be slaughtered to provide the bovine stem cells.
* Could have unforeseen health consequences
* Step in the wrong direction for those who believe problems in our food system have origins in distance between production and consumer.

I am not a big red meat eater anyway. The thought of gnawing away on a steak makes me feel sick. Even watching someone else eat a steak grosses me out. I sit there picturing their arteries hardening and their colon becoming clogged right before my eyes.  The last time i ate a sausage i think my stomach took about 5 days to digest it. That could have something to do with my stomach being a sensitive wee thing - or it could have to do with the fact that as i ate it i was picturing leftover fat being scooped up off of a butcher's floor - and turned into sausage.

In the same way that i will not eat fish - if i have seen it with it's head still attached and dead eyes looking at me - i will not eat meat if i can picture in my head that it was once an animal. Therefor my meat consumption is pretty much limited to the mince that is required to make lasagna or spaghetti bolognese.

Now - thanks to this article - even mince has been ruined for me.

Mark Bryers is back in town

Via Whale Oil

How unlucky was Mark? Parking right in front of the Whale?

I wonder if he has paid his fines, or done his measly few hours of community service?  I got more community service hours for dog fines than he got for stealing millions off the elderly. I am betting that i would be spending a few hours looking at the inside of a jail cell if i tried to skip out on them.

Last i heard - he was living in a penthouse apartment in Sydney - running the same property scam he ran here - and had ignored the pathetic sentence that he received here.

Anyway - i have written about my thoughts on Mark Bryers before - so i won't do it again. He is still a P snorting criminal.

I wonder if there is a brothel near this parking space?

Mark Bryers and his 2011 Audi RS6

Yikes - Paul Little is a little grumpy this weekend!

Harsh, harsh, HARSH description of Whitney Houston's talent and even Jimi Hunt - a depression sufferer who is floating the Waikato River in order to raise money for Lifeline - gets called a "dick" for his efforts.

Paul Little: Fake grief for drug diva

The celebrity grief vampires (CGV) rose from their caskets in their thousands to acknowledge the passing - as the default euphemism has it - of Whitney Houston, and feast on the blood of spurious emotion.

They were lamenting a woman who is best known for taking a perfectly harmless Dolly Parton song that never did her a lick of harm - I Will Always Love You - and not so much singing it as disembowelling it.

The local arm of the social-media grief machine went into overdrive with bereft souls throwing YouTube clips of Whitney in her brief prime at each other for the best part of a day.

There is a long history of such behaviour. When the over-acting matinee idol Rudolph Valentino died in 1926, at least two female fans committed grief-struck suicide. The CGV phenomenon reached its peak with the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, which saw mawkishness elevated to the status of a sacrament.

I have known people whose moods were ruined because a minor celebrity made a final exit. Patrick Swayze's demise threw one acquaintance of mine into a funk for days.

Houston's long-distance mourners didn't know her. All they knew was an image broadcast around the world. She was just someone who could carry a tune - to the limits of endurance in the case mentioned above.

Yet her death means more to many people than tragedies much closer to home, to which they could have a more practical response. Perhaps they could get a grip on reality and work out the difference between a genuine emotion and a fake one. And then they could channel that emotional energy into a worthier cause than grieving for yet another drugged-up diva who's carked it in the bath.

IN THE history of daunting human endeavour, New Zealand has a substantial chapter all to itself.

When we're not bounding up Everest, we're rowing the Atlantic or walking unsupported to the South Pole. At the other end of the madcap adventurer spectrum is the suicidal grandstanding of Norwegian fruit loop Jarle Andhoy.

But if you're looking for a role model for the kids, please bear in mind that there is a happy medium, exemplified by a man prepared to risk not much more than looking like a dick.

Jimi Hunt is the man who floated down the Waikato River on a Lilo. He has had depression, and undertook the float to raise money for Lifeline.

All the great adventurers' goals demand stamina and resilience. But so does floating a Lilo on this 425km length of nasty water. And this adventure has one quality the others don't - it's daffy. The Lilo, after all, is something we associate with lazing around, not with stout-hearted feats of endurance.

I'm normally dubious of attention-seeking charity stunts, but there was something haplessly Kiwi and heart-warming about using a Lilo to take on a mean bastard of a river.

Hunt may or may not raise his $20,000 target, but he has already achieved one thing even more difficult than Lilo-ing the Waikato. He has reminded us that you can make a serious point effectively if you don't take yourself too seriously.

DEAR MOJO Mathers, please relax. You're not missing anything.

Ouch.

I hope Paul cheers up and feels better soon!

Welcome To God's Family

'...This man welcomes sinners...' Luke 15:2 NIV

Let's look at two sinners Jesus welcomed:

First, Matthew. As a tax collector working for the Romans, he was hated by his own people, the Jews. But Jesus had special plans for him. Because he was skilled in keeping records Jesus not only saved his soul but salvaged his talents. As a result he ended up writing the first of the four Gospels. Do you still think God can't use you? Not a chance. The fact Matthew invited Jesus over to his house for dinner is surprising. The fact Jesus accepted was truly amazing, given the times. They didn't understand why 'This man welcomes sinners.' Second, Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus wanted to see Jesus so badly that he climbed up a tree. He was willing to go out on a limb to find God. 'When Jesus reached the spot, He looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed Him gladly. All the people...began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a sinner." But Zacchaeus...said to the Lord..."Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody...I will pay back four times the amount." Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house"...' (Luke 19:5-9 NIV).

The Bible says that God '...is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him' (Hebrews 11:6 KJV). So be diligent in your search. Be persistent in your quest and relentless in your pilgrimage. Turn away from the puny pursuit of possessions and positions and seek the Lord. You will not be disappointed!

I am still feeling all emotional about yesterday.  It is a happy emotional though - so that is all good. I shared on my Facebook page about what an amazing day of healing and forgiveness i had just witnessed.

I got to thinking last night about a comment that a Facebook friend had made. He said that he would keep us in his prayers - that it is when things are going so good that the enemy sticks his oar in. When he said that - i was reminded of something that happened yesterday. We were sitting at the table, having a lovely lunch with T's mum and Dad, and the grandchildren that they had not seen in six years when T's phone went off. It was a random text that made absolutely no sense from someone from his past. He read it, then he passed his phone to me for me to read it. I said nothing and handed the phone back to him.  He then put his phone away, without replying and we forgot about the text until we were on our way home.

We talked about it on the way home. The last time he had heard from this woman was a wasted, didn't make any sense text on New Years Eve. We talked about how a wasted text on New Years Eve is kind of normal for most of New Zealand - but a wasted text that didn't make sense at lunchtime in mid February is kind of sad. It wasn't until that Facebook friend of mine made that comment last night that i actually really realised exactly what that text was and what it meant. That text, and it's timing was the enemy trying to stick his oar in.

Quite amazing really - when you think about it.

Anyway - i woke this morning and logged in to Blogger. The first thing that i saw was the latest posts from some of the blogs that i follow which included this post from Keeping Stock. It amazes me how due to our differing experiences and circumstances we can disagree on just about everything - but we have the most important thing in common - knowing just how wonderful God is. Thank you for your prayers INV2.

I am now going to steal the song that you shared!

Wait and Prepare Yourself

'The time has come, He said...' Mark 1:15 NIV

The Bible says: 'After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming..."The time has come...The kingdom of God is near"...' (vv14-15 NIV). The average preacher takes three years to prepare for a ministry that will last thirty years or so. Jesus did the reverse. He took thirty years to prepare for a ministry that would last just over three.

What's the point? The quality of your preparation determines the quality of your performance. The world's greatest pianists invest hundreds of hours into practice before a concert. That's because they know those gruelling hours of preparation will allow them to give their best performance. World champion boxers don't become champions in the ring; they are merely recognised in the ring. Their 'becoming' is a result of their daily routine. Something important is happening at each stage of your development. For example, God can introduce you to someone today who will play a major role in your life twenty or thirty years from now. If you're in a hurry you may not stop long enough to connect with them. Think what a loss that would be. Waiting also reveals the weakness in your plans. Haven't you looked back and said, 'Thank You, Lord, for saving me from that!' Each chapter and season of life has a benefit and a product if only you will look for it.

Before Christ launched His ministry, we read: 'Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man' (Luke 2:52 NIV). Jesus understood the value of timing and training. He was willing to wait and prepare Himself. You must too.

Today was AMAZING. I am feeling all emotional and stuff.

For 9 months i have been trying to convince T to contact his parents. He has not had contact with them since he disappeared from a motel while visiting them - in 2006.

He kept telling me that he would do it when he was ready. It got to the point where i felt like i was nagging and preaching to him - but i didn't give up.

Two weeks ago it was his Dad's birthday and i couldn't believe it when he told me that he was going to phone them. I was over the moon and popped out to the dairy while he made the call. I thought it best to leave him alone to do it.

When i returned he was teary eyed and i thought he was joking when he told me that his phone call had caused his mother to have an angina attack - but apparently he wasn't!

Today we went on a road trip to visit them. It was such a wonderful, wonderful day. It was so awesome to meet his parents, spend hours looking at photos of when he was little, and just be part of so much happiness, love, and forgiveness.

Today was a very special day. AMAZING does not even begin to describe it. 

I am missing my American family more than ever right now. I wish it was as easy as jumping in the car to be able to see them, but am so happy for T and for his parents. You could just see in their eyes how happy they were, how the past did not matter, and how much they love him.

I'm wiped.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

About yesterday...

It went FANTASTIC!

The only bummer about the whole day is that i found out that the lectures for the papers that i am enrolled in do not start until the first week in March. I am seriously bummed out that i have another two weeks to wait. I was looking forward to being busy straight away.

That is OK though. I have a ton of reading material that i can get started on in order to prevent myself from feeling bored and useless for another two weeks. I guess that also gives me more time to get more of my community service hours out of the way.

I have mentioned previously how the T is doing the post graduate version of the same thing that i am studying. He is in the process of attempting to get his practising certificate back however we thought it was important for him to have something to focus on - and a back up plan in case his application fails - so he is doing the one year post grad course.

I think because he already has a degree, and has been there - done that - when it comes to studying and having an education - this is not as exciting for him.

I am most relieved that we have very different time tables and will very rarely even be there at the same time. He spent our induction time yesterday horrifying me with drawings of me. I am hoping that this is the Just Jeans changing room version of me - and not what i really look like!

T is disruptive in class!

The Blessings of the Compassionate Heart - 3

'...They gave themselves...to the Lord and then to us...' 2 Corinthians 8:5 NIV

Have you ever encountered a homeless person, given them some money, watched them shuffle away and wondered, 'Have I just paid for their next drink or rewarded laziness?' In some cases you may be right, in other cases wrong. So what should you do?

In 2 Corinthians 8, God gives us a plan we can understand and follow. The Macedonian church did it this way: (1) Both the well-off and the needy participated. They all gave, even those in 'extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity...[and] gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability' (vv2-3 NIV). (2) They gave gladly, not under pressure. '...Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing...' (vv3-4 NIV). (3) Their giving flowed from their devotion to Christ. 'They gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us' (v5). They didn't give to impress others or for a tax deduction or to get the preacher off their backs or because they 'felt bad' for the needy. No, it was a natural response to being in love with Jesus. (4) The church leaders received, oversaw and distributed their collective giving. They didn't give navely, trusting the integrity of the unknown and unproven. Their leaders handled and distributed their gifts openly, consistently and with accountability. They knew the finances were handled honestly '...in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men' (v21).

Bottom line: you can give without loving, but you can't love without giving to those God loves.

I am still thinking about Tania Wysocki this morning and hoping that she finds another way. Chester Burrows is right - $43,000 per year is probably enough to live on - if you are in a two income family and able to split the bills! I would like to see Chester live on $43,000 a year with two children - in Auckland - on his own.

I am thinking about how much New Zealand has changed since i have lived here. Back in 1989 i stepped off a plane, and without any tertiary education i walked into a job that made it worth it for me to work. I literally arrived here on the last Wednesday in May, had a job interview on Friday, and started my first job on the Tuesday after Queens Birthday weekend.

I like to think that it was my intelligence, charm, and good looks that got me that job, but when i think about it - they hired me on the spot. There can't have been that much competition for the role! I worked there for three years, and even on youth wages that was still 3 times more than what a benefit would have been.

I have been thinking about this because i have looked for jobs over the past two years, and have come to the conclusion that tertiary education has gone from being a privilege in this country and something that only the academically gifted embark on - to a necessity just to get a job that pays anything more than the minimum wage. Even if you are able to get a job that pays the minimum wage - you have done so after beating about 50 other applicants and have decided it is worth it to take a pay cut from what you receive on a benefit - after paying childcare , transport, etc costs.

It goes without saying that most people on benefits can not afford an income reduction, so they stay where they are - or they choose to study. Tania had a pretty fair point when she reminded us all that Paula Bennett used our Welfare System to better herself - she was on the DPB and would not be where she is today had it not been for the availability of the training incentive allowance that she made the most of to get herself an education.

I am not complaining about my lot. I have extra help. I have an ex husband who pays for just about everything for our children, and i am sure that i have a guardian angel because no matter how bad things get or how broke i am - things always seem to work out and we end up OK. I am always broke - but we are always OK and I am grateful for that . But not everyone has an ex like mine and that kind of help. I know i would not be able to survive and my children would be suffering if i did not have that extra help. If i had to pay school fees, uniforms, sporting fees, school camping fees, stationary costs etc etc - i would be in big trouble. I don't know how some people do it.

For Paula Bennett to take away the training incentive allowance - an allowance that enabled her to better herself - just seems to me like our Social Development Minister lacks any form of a compassionate heart and seems to have forgotten exactly where she came from.

It seems to me that it is always the people who have survived hard times and come out on top that lack the most empathy. John Key and his constant reminders that he grew up in a state house are another example. These people seem to think that because they did it - everyone can and it is easy. They forget though - about all the assistance that they had doing it.

One day i am going to be in a better place, but i will never forget this place - or the worse places - and the help that i have had getting out of them.

Don't Do It

If i could say one thing to Tania Wysocki - it would be those three words.

Mum: Prostitution to pay for studies

A solo mum who wants to study so she can get off welfare says she has had to turn to prostitution to pay for childcare and transport to the course.

Tania Wysocki, a 38-year-old mother of two preschoolers at Paerata near Pukekohe, advertised herself on a website two weeks ago in a last-ditch effort to raise the money she needs for childcare when she starts a veterinary nursing course at Unitec in Mt Albert next week.

She wrote to Prime Minister John Key two days after Christmas saying she could see no other way to do the course, which she hopes will help her get off the domestic purposes benefit (DPB). Mr Key's office passed the letter on to Social Development Minister Paula Bennett, who has yet to respond.

I always think to myself how blessed i am. I am blessed because i landed myself in such a hideous situation here - in New Zealand - rather than in The States.

In American i would not have had free health care to help me get over the depression that drug abuse ravaged my brain with. I would not have received free doctors visits, medication, or counselling. I would not have been able to make the split second decision that i made to just turn off my "hooker phone"  and never look back - without the help of New Zealand's social services. I would not have had financial assistance with disappearing from my apartment in the middle of the night in order to get away from all the drug influences that i had turning up on my doorstep every five minutes.  I would not have had any income at all. I would not have been able to get away from that life, and i would have ended up dead or in prison.

Now thanks to this country and our government i have access to a student loan in order to get an education. I would not be commencing University study at all - if i was in America.

I am so grateful to New Zealand and our government for the help that i have received over the last two and a half years. I have not had a lot, i have struggled and will continue to do so - but the help that i have received has saved my life and i will always be grateful that i landed myself in such an awful predicament - here in New Zealand.

Because that has been my experience - part of me hates reading about people complaining about how much free money they get from the government. Another part of me empathises though, and realises that there are people out there doing it tougher than me.

All i have to say to Tania is that the cost of the emotional and psychological damage that she will do by making that choice will by far outweigh any hourly rate that she could possibly charge. I notice also, that there is no mention of the one thousand dollars that she is entitled to through Studylink for course related costs. That would help make up the shortfall. I wonder if she is aware of that entitlement?

To our Government i have to say - give this woman the extra that she needs to study and get off a benefit. She will end up costing you a heck of a lot more in the long run if you don't, and eventually so will her children - after they grow up watching their prostitute mum live on a benefit.

Spend more time kicking the abusers of the system off it - and more money helping people that don't want to be there in the first place.

That's my spiel done for the day!

How long does a person have to be broke

 before they are no longer considered a "property developer"?

'Hotel California' property raided

A high-profile Auckland property developer was taken away by police who raided a central city apartment building this morning, says the man's son.

A swarm of armed and plainclothes officers descended on a Karaka St address - described by one resident as Auckland's 'Hotel California' - in Eden Terrace about 5.30am.

They executed search warrants as part of an ongoing investigation by the Auckland City child exploitation team.

The police systematically checked each of the 28 flats at the three-level Artizanz Apartments building and arrested two men and a teenage girl.

The building's owner, property developer Mark Lyon, was taken to the police station, said his son Blake Lyon.

He said his father had been taken away in handcuffs.

Blake was in his room when police busted through his door and searched his apartment, he said.

"I just heard them going bang on the doors. I came out with my hands up and got thrown on the ground.''

Several residents who lived on the top floor had been taken to the police station, he said.

He said police were searching for a "network'' of people.

Several residents who lived on the top floor had been taken to the police station, he said.

Three of an estimated 10 residents of the building weren't taken to the police station, he said.

Police had raided the site several times before, he said.

The building was previously a warehouse, and had been converted into "party'' apartments by his father, he said.

"My dad bought this place just for a party house. Each room has different themes.''

Another resident Pamela Gardner said police were looking for underage girls and drugs in the search.

"There's no little girls [here], I know 100 per cent.''

Police said a 56-year-old man and 33-year-old man will appear in the Auckland District Court today on drug and fines-related charges.

A 16-year-old girl was also arrested for breach of bail conditions.

The Armed Offenders Squad assisted with the raid. No shots were fired although imitation firearms were recovered from the scene.

Police said six apartments in the complex were the focus of the search. Several items have been recovered and the investigation is ongoing.

Frank Squire, a friend of Mr Lyon, said he'd been invited to live in the building.

He described the apartment block as 'Hotel California', a real mixture of people from all walks of life.

He was speaking to a friend when police burst into his room, and was made to accompany officers as they searched the building.

There was always a "police presence'' around the building, but it had quietened down lately, he said.

Mr Squire said police left with his MacBook laptop but he was not arrested.

Three of the apartments were privately-owned, he said.

I was introduced to Mark - briefly - back in 2008. It was a brief introduction because i took one look at him and promptly did a runner. I then hid at the back of the building that i was in at the time - until he was gone.

I was told then that he was once a very wealthy and high profile property developer but had lost everything due to his methamphetamine addiction and his affiliation with a gang. Apparently this gang - i did not ask which gang but obviously it was the headhunters - just used him and stole everything that he had not already smoked up a pipe.

He was barefoot, dirty and toothless when i met him. The fact that he is even still alive is amazing but to be described as a property developer is a bit of a stretch! How did he still own this building?

Apparently it is well known to be a haven of needle using prostitutes.

Scary stuff going on in Newton alright.

Yikes.

Mark Lyon in 2002 - imagine what he looks like now!

More information about Mark Lyon on the Sensible Sentencing Trust website.

Another example of where that drug will lead every life it touches.

The Blessings of the Compassionate Heart - 2

'He who gives to the poor will lack nothing...' Proverbs 28:27 NIV

When it comes to charitable giving some people say, 'That's Old Testament doctrine. What's the New Testament teaching?' Glad you asked! Jesus launched His ministry saying: 'The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because He has anointed Me to preach Good News to the poor...' (Luke 4:18 NIV). And it didn't stop with Jesus. The New Testament church carried out Christ's mission of mercy on a daily basis. 'All the believers...shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need.' As a result, they experienced 'great joy' (Acts 2:44-46 NLT). You say, 'Won't that leave me financially strapped?' No. Because of their compassion and generosity: 'There was not a needy person among them...' (Acts 4:34 NAS). The giver and receiver were both blessed.

The rules of God's Kingdom are: 'Give freely and become more blessed; be stingy and lose everything. The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed' (Proverbs 11:24-25 NLT). It seems counter-intuitive, especially when you are struggling financially, but God promises that the generous will prosper. But watch your motives! God doesn't owe you. You can't buy His favour. So, don't give in expectation of a reward (that's not generosity, it's greed!) but give out of faith.

The Bible says, 'The Lord blesses everyone who freely gives food to the poor' (Proverbs 22:9 CEV). 'He who gives to the poor will lack nothing.' Next time God nudges you to show compassion and give, do it. Then when you have a need, pray, 'Lord, I have honoured You, now I believe You will honour me.'

I am doing tomorrow morning's post now because i have to be out the door at 7am to start Uni! If i even look at my laptop in the morning i will risk running late - so i am not going to look at it.

I have been thinking today about how i am not going to have as much time for the blog and if / when i should end it. I feel like this degree is my last chance to do something good with my life. I always got so bored at every job that i have ever had, was never happy, and always moved on to another one. I threw in my nursing studies when i met Danny - to go back to a boring job that i hated. I have never really done anything properly  - except be a crack ho (i nailed that) - and it is so important to me that i succeed this time that i don't want any distractions. Even T knows he is going to have to come second for the next three years.

So I was thinking about just quitting on Wonderful Now, but then i decided that to end it now would be like not finishing another thing in my life. What would be the point of writing in a blog about all the bad, and the struggles to recover and fix my life - for nearly three years - to just end it before i have achieved anything or done anything positive with my life?

That would be kind of lame. One of my favourite NAisms is "We only keep what we have by giving it away". That is what i do on my blog. It is my way of giving recovery to others. So i decided that i will not end my blog until i have gone from crack ho to University graduate. Only then, will this story really be proof that anything is possible and there is always hope - no matter what.

Crack ho to graduate in just over 5 years. That will be the perfect ending. You are stuck with me for another 2 years and 9 months or so - although not as prolifically!

Bed time for me and my prayers are full of gratitude tonight.

Changing rooms - I hate you

I am feeling depressed.

T and i just returned from a shopping trip. I don't shop often, and i definitely do not shop unless i have something specific that i need, and want to buy. The days of me being able to wander aimlessly around shopping centres with a pile of money, being able to buy whatever useless things catch my eye - are well and truly gone.

Thank goodness for that.

I have worn the same pair of jeans for the last three years. They were purchased at Jay Jays - which is a very low end - aka cheap - shop aimed at teenagers. I am lucky. I can still fit into the same size jeans that my daughters wear, so when they found their jeans for $30 bucks at Jay Jays - i copied them and bought a pair for myself - much to their horror.

I say i am lucky but i really should be saying i WAS lucky. I would still be wearing those jeans had i not met T. T is what i refer to as a "chubby chaser". He likes voluptuous women. This has meant that for the last 9 months he has been trying to fatten me up. The bigger my butt gets - the sexier he thinks i am. Those size 6 skinny jeans did not have much moving room to start with, and now they are worse than painful to wear, not to mention the fact that it takes me half an hour and a lot of jumping around the bathroom to get them past my knees. My thirty dollar jeans did me well, and would have kept doing me well - had i not met T. He never stops putting food in front of me.

I needed new jeans.

I still have a lingering sense of horror at what i saw in that changing room. T did not help matters as he rubbed my leg as we drove home while I muttered something under my breath about not eating for the next 6 months. I did not need to hear how much he loves big butts and mine is the sexiest he has ever seen. Do those changing room lights and mirrors do that on purpose? Is there some subconscious marketing ploy that i am not aware of that makes me hand over more money - the worse i look? Are those mirrors lying to me? Or do i really look like a sausaged legged marshmallow woman???

I am never going shopping with T / Mr Make Bffs with Shop Assistants again. There was a reason that i always run in, avoid shop assistants, grab what i need, and get out of there without trying whatever i am buying on. Today - i was reminded of that reason.

Changing rooms - I HATE YOU.

I purchased the first pair of jeans that i tried on and got the heck out of there.

 I hope they look ok.

I'm off to wrap myself in a sack while i express my distrust at my own mirrors. Changing room mirrors or my mirrors at my home - one of you is lying!

The Blessings of the Compassionate Heart - 1

'Oh, the joys of those who are kind to the poor!...' Psalm 41:1 NLT

Even in a bad economy most of us are still better off than others, and better off than we have ever been. We may lack the latest, the biggest, the finest and the fastest, but we seldom lack the necessary, right? Now God doesn't 'guilt-trip' us, but He does want us to 'Consider [remember, be mindful of] the poor.' The Bible says, 'He who shuts his ear to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be answered' (Proverbs 21:13 NAS). Could this be a key to your prayers getting answered? To be comfortably provided for is a blessing, but you must not forget those in need.

What is God's attitude toward the poor? And what does He expect of us? 'If there is a poor man among your brothers...do not be hardhearted or tight-fisted toward [him]...and give him nothing...you will be found guilty of sin' (Deuteronomy 15:7-9 NIV). Helping others is an obligation, not an option. In Scripture the tithe took care of God's work and God's servants, but it was also to be shared with '...the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that they may eat...and be satisfied' (Deuteronomy 26:12 NIV). God said: 'If one of your countrymen becomes poor...unable to support himself...help him as you would an alien or a temporary resident, so he can continue to live among you' (Leviticus 25:35 NIV).

The truth is, we've been called to feed, shelter and clothe the needy (Isaiah 58:5-12). God is compassionate and generous to the poor, and He asks us to follow His example.

I love that. There is always someone who is worse off than us. Always.

I had not had a happy, good, or romantic Valentines Day since as long as i can remember - until yesterday.

The T and i had an absolutely wonderful first Valentines Day together. It was our last day together before we both get busy with study and our future. No more days spent nanna napping, drinking coffee, surfing the net, and walking Nixon. We spent the whole day together just relaxing. We had a lovely dinner together then we headed out to the movies. I got to pick the movie this time. Every time we have gone to the movies he has picked it. I paid him back for making me sit through that slit your wrists depressing Melancholia - and made him sit through The Vow.

I had high hopes for that movie. The Notebook is one of my favourites, and i had heard it was really good. I gotta say i was a bit disappointed. It wasn't horribly bad, but it was not as good as i was expecting it to be.

Bummer.

On the bright side - we found out that it is only $10 to get in to the movies on Tuesday nights so we are going to make Tuesday night our "Date night" from now on and go every week.





I'm still grossed out by the scene where he farted in the car and she rolled up the window so that she could smell it.

I'm sorry - i am never going to be THAT in love with anyone! My head goes out that window if i get so much as a whiff of butt air.

End. Of. Story.

I hope everyone out there had as wonderful a Valentines Day as the one that i had yesterday.

Happy Valentines Day

I am so blessed.

The Grace To Handle It

'He gives more grace.' James 4:6 NKJV

Nancy and Ed Huizinga were at church rehearsing for the Christmas programme when their home burned down. It wasn't their first tragedy that year. Three months earlier when a friend, a widow with two children, died of cancer, the Huizingas took her children to live with them as part of the family. So when their house was destroyed it wasn't just their home they lost, it was home to two children who'd already lost their parents. The following week as they sifted through the ashes they found a slip of paper that survived the fire. On it they read these words: 'Contentment: Realising God has already provided everything we need for our present happiness.'

God gives you 'more grace' when you walk through fiery trials. Charles Swindoll says: 'Our whole perspective changes when we catch a glimpse of the purpose of Christ. Take that away, and it's nothing more than a bitter, terrible experience. Suffering comes in many forms, but His grace is always there to carry us beyond it. I've endured a sufficient number of trials to say without hesitation that only Christ's perspective can replace resentment with rejoicing. Jesus is the central piece of suffering's puzzle. If we fit Him into place, the rest begins to make sense.'

Donna VanLiere writes: 'When life blindsides us...abuse, foreclosure, disease, divorce, death, job loss or financial collapse brings us to our knees...grace says there's more love after infidelity, more joy after the diagnosis, and more life after financial ruin...grace is real...an indomitable gift with power to change your life. But it does come with one condition - like any gift, you have to hold out your hand and accept it.'

I am going to need to hold out my hand and accept grace this morning while i deal with Studylink.

Nothing is ever straightforward for me. I enrolled in Uni under my maiden name - Sperling - because that is the name that i now go by. I would be pathetic and stupid if i was still using the name Baillie - i mean i don't even know where Danny is and have not seen him in three years. He is hardly still my husband - other than on paper. Unfortunately for me IRD still have me as "Baillie" and to make matters even worse - Studylink have me as my first married name. This has meant that my student loan has not matched with the person named Sperling who is enrolled to study - so none of my fees have been paid and the money for my course related costs has not gone into my bank account like it was supposed to today.

I know it is just a technical glitch. Yesterday i had to spend half the day finding somewhere that had a fax machine that i could use so that i could fax copies of marriage certificates and my passport all over the country in order to get this fixed. I didn't even know people still used fax machines. I had not seen one since i worked at The National Bank - in 1989!

Anyway - community service this morning - then spending the afternoon on hold with Studylink.

Awesome.

On a brighter note - it is the T and I's first Valentines Day together. I am not big on this day. I never have been. I don't need to be told by flower shops or chocolate manufacturers which day of the year i should show appreciation to the person that i love - but this sure did cheer me up this morning.

He says i get one every Valentines Day for each year that we are together. Considering i will be 53 before i get a dozen - i am over the moon with my single rose this morning!

Street prostitution debate before Parliament

Debate on street prostitution is about revive at Parliament.

A bill that will allow Auckland Council to ban street prostitution in specific places is to be considered by the local government select committee.

Other city councils including Christchurch are expected to show interest and may seek to have the same powers applied generally.

An earlier 2005 bill, relating to Manukau City Council, was voted down in 2006 after it emerged from strongly divided select committee hearings.

Former Manurewa MP George Hawkins sponsored the local bill at the request of Manukau to address street prostitution near residential areas.

After its defeat, he introduced another one in 2010 just before the Auckland Super City was formed.
Auckland Council has told the local government select committee it wants to take over the bill, and its jurisdiction is greater Auckland.

National MPs supported Mr Hawkins' original bill.

The local government and environment committee will consider the bill and submissions close on February 29.

Chairwoman Nicky Wagner, who is MP for Christchurch Central, said there had been a lot of interest from other cities "and other people wanting to piggy-back on it".

"What we need to do is think about how we are going to manage the whole thing and we need to decide what the scope of the bill will be."

She said there had been a lot of interest already, particularly from Christchurch where street prostitution in the inner city had moved out to the residential areas.

The committee would have to decide whether it was possible to extend the bill and then whether it wanted to.

Mr Hawkins said he would have preferred to have had a bill amending the Prostitution Reform Act 2003 to outlaw street prostitution nationally.

The select committee report on the first bill that was voted down said that if the bill were passed, "citizens would be subject to conflicting criminal laws, depending on their current geographical locale". It also thought it would simply move the problem.

The committee believed passage of the bill would negate the intentions of the Prostitution Reform Act 2003, which legalised and regulated the sex trade.

Ban it everywhere. Make street prostitution illegal.

The only people that work on the street are junkies that are controlled by gangs - giving every cent they earn to organised crime - and children.

Talk to any Police Officer from Auckland Central and they will tell you about children as young as 12 prostituting themselves on the street because they can't work in brothels. In some cases it is the parents that are pimping out their own children in order to feed their drug habits.

The oldest profession in the world and all that jazz - all the arguments that people can come up with for why this industry is legal in this country does not apply to street prostitution.

Anyone that argues otherwise is morally corrupt, advocating for child abuse and human trafficking, and just plain wrong.

There is not ONE thing safe or positive about street prostitution being legal. It is dangerous and wrong and our government has it's head in the sand if it continues to turn a blind eye to that.