Try to be more understanding

'Be kindly affectionate to one another...' Romans 12:10 NKJV

Often the reason a relationship fails is not because of a difference of opinion, but a lack of understanding. Why aren't we more understanding?

For three reasons: (1) Selfishness. Somebody quipped, 'There are two sides to every question - as long as it doesn't concern me personally.' Paul writes: 'Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another.' (2) Fear. Prejudice is often the fear of what we're unwilling to try and understand. When it comes to new ideas you've two options: open your mind and grow, or reject them and stay the same size. We tend to compare what we don't understand with what we think we do - like the people who told Columbus the earth was flat. When it comes to building relationships you've got to be willing to do what you've not yet done. (3) Differences. It takes more than one colour to make a rainbow and one musician to make an orchestra. When you take time to appreciate the differences in people, you discover we all share the same hopes and fears.

Harry Truman said, 'When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint and what he's trying to do, nine times out of ten he's just trying to do right.' Basically, we all share the same hopes and fears.Two of our most common problems are 'gift-envy' and 'gift-projection'. One happens when we compare our talents with others and feel inferior. The other happens when we expect others to feel equally passionate about what we do. The Bible says, 'There are different kinds of service...but we serve the same Lord' (1 Corinthians 12:5 NLT).

It is a freezing cold morning here in Howick. I have a pot of home made vegetable soup brewing on the stove already and i am just about to get stuck in to an essay for the day.  I am spending my whole weekend working on that and practicing that motivational interviewing stuff.

For those of you that are still checking my blog to hear what happened with that crazy court case - i figured i should let you know what i know.

Nothing.

As far as i am aware it was heard on Tuesday. I waited all day Tuesday for the barrage of emails and nasty comments that i would receive as soon as they won - but they never came. I phoned the court on Wednesday morning and was told that the Judge had "reserved judgement".

I haven't phoned the court again. I promised myself after Wednesday that i just needed to focus on my upcoming exam and not let it upset or worry me any longer. I figure either way - i will hear when i hear.

I have come to the conclusion that the judge has probably reserved judgement because they overcooked the case so much.

They want blog posts removed that do not even relate to them - i mean what on earth does a comment in relation to a family member of mine's suicide have to do with them?

They included "evidence" in the form of emails between them and other parties about me - that are just gossip and hearsay - about my behaviour. They have included information regarding family members of mine that have nothing to do with their allegations against me. Them doing that was nothing more than them trying to hurt the people close to me. They included so much that was not even relevant to the case in their pile of papers.

They want costs from me in relation to Simon Buckingham's three failed attempts at injunctions. What the heck - costs follow result - and they did not get their intended result. They failed - so why should i have to pay for that?

They want me to publish a retraction regarding anything i have said regarding the case and an apology - which will never happen because i am the victim of harassment here and never lied - so i am not going to lie and say that i did.

They have requested that i not be able to contact someone's ex husband or his family. I could not believe it when i read this. I don't know or care who that woman's ex husband is, or who his family are. I am not the one that has spent the past 18 months hunting down, contacting, and befriending people from that woman's past in order to hurt her. She is the one that has done that to me. I could not believe she had the gall to even suggest i would do that. I put that section of their affidavit down to what is commonly known as "projection".

With someone's 20 year psychiatric history - if they had kept it simple - a Judge might have ignored the fact that it is very clear that i have been a victim of their stalking and obsessing over every single word i have typed for the last 18 months, played it safe and just awarded them what they wanted. They just tried to go too far in their harassment of me though - and i think that is why it is taking so long for a Judge to make a decision.

I could be wrong though. I am no legal expert. I am just guessing.

I saw something on Brian Edwards' blog when i was reading it last night though - that i found amusing. He made this comment about a crazy neighbour of his;

A deranged Waiheke neighbour of ours, whose ginger tom was terrorising every other cat in the district, and to whom I complained, put it about the island, when the cat mysteriously disappeared one Christmas, that I had killed it by throwing it over the cliff. I hadn’t. But for some time people would approach me and say, ‘Ah Brian, the Waiheke cat killer!’

If those women succeed in getting their harassment order then i sincerely hope that Brian Edwards' neighbour never reads his blog - because his comment regarding his neighbour is pretty similar to the few comments that i had made about those women - prior to being served legal papers.

See Greed is Ugly as an example.

If those women are successful then Brian Edwards better hope that his deranged neighbour does not have access to a free lawyer. Even one as incompetent as the one that i have been dealing with.

For now - no news is good news. I am sure that the barrage of nasty taunts, insults, and abuse will begin if or when that changes.

I am beyond caring about the outcome now. I just want it over with either way. In the meantime i am enjoying my peace.

Have a great Saturday you lot.