That is so very many crackers.
So i am not strange or weird to admit that cheddar flavoured Shapes are one of my favourite things to munch on. I love them. I have loved them for a long time. During that terrible time of my life, when i was addicted to methamphetamine, about the only things i ate for a whole year were Skittles, pistachio nuts, Camembert cheese with rice crackers....and cheddar flavoured Shapes.
My mouth is no longer so dry that i need Skittles to salivate. I can no longer afford pistachio nuts. My body is no longer speeding so fast that my butt can afford to eat a block of cheese a day without it expanding to the size of a small house. I can though, still enjoy a box of Shapes every once in awhile - well i thought i could anyway - until i started hanging out with a particular friend of mine.
My efforts to consume a box of Shapes are hindered from the moment that i spot the box on the shelf at the supermarket. If i am with this friend of mine, he immediately launches into all the reasons why i should not purchase my Shapes, how gross they are, and how i "Don't deserve to have the body that i have if i keep eating that junk."
Not one of those three boxes of Shapes have ended up in my stomach.
I get home with my beloved box of cheddar flavoured Shapes, and faster than i have opened the box, pulled open the tin foil packet inside, and reached into the box to grab a handful - the box is pulled out of my hands and like a 5 year old who has just arrived home from a long day at school - i am told that they will ruin my appetite for whatever meal is planned in the coming hours.
My friend closes the box and puts it in the cupboard.
I stare at the cupboard and say nothing. This happens every single time i attempt to consume a Shape cracker, until i give up and go home.
The funniest thing happens while i am gone though. My Shapes are NEVER in the cupboard when i return!
SOMEONE EATS MY SHAPES EVERY SINGLE TIME I LEAVE THEM ALONE.
I get told off every single time i even look at the box of Shapes, but as soon as i am gone, my friend devours the entire box on his own, then puts the EMPTY box back in his cupboard. Sorry - it was not empty last time. He left me two whole Shapes to eat when i returned. I know he left me two because when i complained that the box that i had returned to was now in the cupboard empty, after i was not allowed to eat them, so i had put it in the rubbish - he made a big deal of digging it out of the rubbish and showing me that there were still two in there - that he left for me.
THREE TIMES THIS HAS HAPPENED.
As you were.
I am off to get three boxes of Shapes and eat them all on my own - without sharing - or getting nagged at.