Are you thinking of quitting? You believed you could make a difference until they poured criticism and cold water on you. At that point you decided it was easier to adjust your expectations to their opinion and just keep smiling.
Don't do it; God has too much invested in you! The comfort zone is for those who are exempt from pain but denied progress; protected from failure but held in the grip of mediocrity. Get up and get out of there while you still can: '... Strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die... ' (Revelation 3:2 NKJV).
Open your Bible and begin to fill your mind with God's promises; they're powerful motivators. Pray, believing God for great things. Plug in at church. Rekindle your desire, for ultimately that's what determines your destiny! Jesus suffered the loss of His disciples, His friends, and even His clothes (John 19:23-24). But they couldn't rob Him of '... the joy that was set before him... ' (Hebrews 12:2 NKJV). Even while He was dying He continued to minister. Then He went into hell, came out with the lock and keys and announced, 'I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore... ' (Revelation 1:18 NKJV). And He is your example!
When Gideon fought the Midianites we read that he '... came to the Jordan, he and the three hundred men who were with him crossed over, exhausted but still in pursuit'. Because Gideon refused to let the Jordan River intimidate him, or fatigue stop him, God gave him a great victory! And He will do the same for you.
I had an absolutely wonderful sleep overnight. I always sleep so well down here. The drive down was easy and hassle free as well. There was a little bit more traffic on the roads, than when a long holiday weekend is not looming, but it wasn't too bad and most likely nothing compared to what trying to get out of Auckland today will be like!
We arrived down here about 6pm...Nicky and Ange had been drinking since 11am!!??!! by that stage. It was Ange's birthday yesterday, but because of needing new tyres etc, we missed that. Not sure i could have handled another big day like that anyway. I can't keep up with those girls anymore. I did enjoy one glass of wine with Ange, before being Nicky's sober diver home! Nix managed to scoff some fish and chips just before passing out about 8pm.
I was tempted to record the snoring that i could hear coming from her and Craig's bedroom, but i resisted on the basis that me recording the girls' drunk singing last week was probably enough embarrassment - for this month.
Needless to say though, that i did not much struggle with the usual feeling that i get when i am down here sometimes - you know - that feeling that us single people get when we are surrounded by happy couples. Yeah that feeling. I did not get it last night while i listened to TWO very loud snorers in the next room.
Still - i had a fantastic sleep and am ready to drop my little monsters (Nicole and Lydia) off at the mall...then head off to climb the mount! I don't think i will even bother suggesting the idea to Nicky. I think she will be struggling to get out of bed today. I might get clobbered if i suggest she climb the mount with me. lol
I ADORE my life - MOST of the time. ;)