http://www.nataliedee.com/
February 28, 2010
Letting go of denial
Most of us have engaged in denial from time to time. Some of us relied on this tool. We may have denied events or feelings from our past. We may have denied other people's problems; we may have denied our own problems, feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs.
We denied the truth.
Denial means that we didn't let ourselves face reality, usually because facing that particular reality would hurt. It would be a loss of something: trust, love, family, perhaps a marriage, a friendship, or a dream. And it hurts to lose something, or someone.
Denial is a protective device, a shock absorber for the soul. It prevents us from acknowledging reality until we feel prepared to cope with that particular reality.
We are sturdy yet fragile beings. Sometimes, we need time to get prepared, time to ready ourselves to cope. We let go of our need to deny by allowing ourselves to become safe and strong enough to cope with the truth. We will do this, when the time is right.
We do not need to punish ourselves for denying reality; we need only love ourselves into safety and strength so that each day we are better equipped to face and deal with the truth. We will face and deal with reality - on our own time schedule, when we are ready, and in God's timing. We do not have to accept chastisement from anyone, including ourselves, for this schedule.
We will know what we need to know, when it's time to know it.
Today, i will concentrate on making myself feel safe and confident. I will let myself have my awareness on my own time schedule.
I have, in the past, been the Queen of Denialville...population...ME.
I guess this is understandable, considering that in my life time i have lost every single thing up there that is mentioned that could cause us to make living in denial such a familiar and comfortable place.
Trust, love, family, perhaps a marriage, a friendship, or a dream.
All of the above, and then some. I think, when i look back to a few years ago, before Danny and i stopped living together, but i still knew that he no longer loved me (or never had) ...denial was my only option, at that point in time. I just don't think i could have faced losing anything else...especially not him, at that point in time.
I stopped living in denial, on the day that i admitted my drug use on this blog. When it had only been 46 days since i had smoked my last pipe full of P. The day that i admitted everything on this blog, was the day that i stopped living in that horrible place called denial, and faced reality.
It has been an awesome journey...and one that i will continue for the rest of my life.
Reality is like a holiday on a tropical island and Disneyland rolled into one..compared to denial...even when the reality is the worst truth imaginable. Reality is never as painful, as denial is destructive.
Goodnight. x
It's going to be an eyeball harvest
http://www.nataliedee.com/
haha this one is rather appropriate...except we COULD change " White college educated employed North American" with....
"Single female in New Zealand who is bringing up one or more children on her own, with the huge amount of help that our socialised economy offers them."
hahaha
I love Facebook
I just received a friend request from my old friend Sharyn, that i met while attending Macleans College when i was 14. I have not seen or heard from her since i was about 18.
How awesome to have such an old friend, who i have so many wonderful memories of, get in touch with me.
Build it and they will come...bahhahha
How awesome.
Good people. I am smiling from ear to ear right now.
How awesome to have such an old friend, who i have so many wonderful memories of, get in touch with me.
Build it and they will come...bahhahha
How awesome.
Good people. I am smiling from ear to ear right now.
Unwanted emails = spam...don't they?
I have woken up to more emails from people from that world of drugs and prostitution, despite making it very clear that i would appreciate it if they removed me from their sleazy mailing lists.
The spam button is lovely.
Last night, Neil changed his email address, and sent me a copy and paste from...i guess, his blog...i am only guessing because i have not bothered to venture over to his little corner of the internet and obsess over everything...or even anything...that he is saying. I don't care what he thinks of me, and i will not be drawn in any further than i already had been into his fantasy of prostitution being a good choice for anyone.
I have made it clear, that i wish for him to return this favour. Instead he copies and pastes into an email a blog post of his, specifically criticising me for being a Christian, and his generalization of Christian behaviour.
Not unlike how he told me that Eden always refers to me as a slut, he would have done this, in the hope of making me angry, getting a rise out of me, and continuing on with his online drama. Unfortunately for him, my amusement at the predictability of his actions, overshadowed any offense that i could have possibly taken in relation to being mocked for my personal beliefs.
More emails followed from him, when he did not get the reaction that he wanted, and now emails from the prostitute as well.
The level of distraction that these people have with my life, and my opinions, when clearly theirs mean very little to me, is weird. If they put as much effort and concentration into their own lives and well being as they put into mine...they might actually be happy, well adjusted people that do not need to be prostitutes or spend their lives stalking prostitutes online.
Just like i had to turn comments off, on my blog, because of the negative drama that these people were spewing in my direction...i will not be reading their emails, or emails from any address and / or person that i do not personally know...for awhile.
I will be overusing my "report as spam" button until my heart is content. If these people wanted to prove that they live for drama and negativity...then they have done a good job. Had they just left me alone, this argument would be well down the line in my archive list..to rarely be read again...if ever.
It's not rocket science.
Do you want to know what the funniest thing about all of this is? This hooker emailed me, wanting information from me about the man with the dead wife. I replied to her promptly, because i knew she was hurting and tried to give her information that might help with any pain that she was suffering because of his actions...
Did i get so much as a thank you, in response to that email?
Nope bahhahah
But she has all the time in the world to email me nastiness and focus on the negative.
Nice one. That's just how these hideous people roll...and why i don't miss that life, or care what they think of me.
The spam button is lovely.
Last night, Neil changed his email address, and sent me a copy and paste from...i guess, his blog...i am only guessing because i have not bothered to venture over to his little corner of the internet and obsess over everything...or even anything...that he is saying. I don't care what he thinks of me, and i will not be drawn in any further than i already had been into his fantasy of prostitution being a good choice for anyone.
I have made it clear, that i wish for him to return this favour. Instead he copies and pastes into an email a blog post of his, specifically criticising me for being a Christian, and his generalization of Christian behaviour.
Not unlike how he told me that Eden always refers to me as a slut, he would have done this, in the hope of making me angry, getting a rise out of me, and continuing on with his online drama. Unfortunately for him, my amusement at the predictability of his actions, overshadowed any offense that i could have possibly taken in relation to being mocked for my personal beliefs.
More emails followed from him, when he did not get the reaction that he wanted, and now emails from the prostitute as well.
The level of distraction that these people have with my life, and my opinions, when clearly theirs mean very little to me, is weird. If they put as much effort and concentration into their own lives and well being as they put into mine...they might actually be happy, well adjusted people that do not need to be prostitutes or spend their lives stalking prostitutes online.
Just like i had to turn comments off, on my blog, because of the negative drama that these people were spewing in my direction...i will not be reading their emails, or emails from any address and / or person that i do not personally know...for awhile.
I will be overusing my "report as spam" button until my heart is content. If these people wanted to prove that they live for drama and negativity...then they have done a good job. Had they just left me alone, this argument would be well down the line in my archive list..to rarely be read again...if ever.
It's not rocket science.
Do you want to know what the funniest thing about all of this is? This hooker emailed me, wanting information from me about the man with the dead wife. I replied to her promptly, because i knew she was hurting and tried to give her information that might help with any pain that she was suffering because of his actions...
Did i get so much as a thank you, in response to that email?
Nope bahhahah
But she has all the time in the world to email me nastiness and focus on the negative.
Nice one. That's just how these hideous people roll...and why i don't miss that life, or care what they think of me.
You are qualified
The Lord does not look at the things man looks at - 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV
Some of the greatest people in the Bible considered themselves unqualified. Moses told God he wasn't a good speaker. Gideon told God he didn't have the right family background. Jeremiah told God he felt as helpless as a child. Paul described himself as the chief of sinners and the least of the apostles. Everyone, including Samuel the prophet, thought David wasn't qualified to become king.bahhhhahahaha I LOVE IT!
But God thought differently!
We decided to retell the story about a newly hired travelling salesman who sent his first sales report to the head office, because its truth is timeless. When the report reached them they were stunned. The new salesman wrote, 'I seen this outfit which ain't never bot nuthin from us and I sole them a lotta goods. Now I'm going to Chicawgo.' Before the sales manager could fire him, along came a second report. 'I come here to Chicawgo and sole them over a millyun.' Fearful if he fired the salesman and concerned if he didn't, the sales manager dumped the problem into the lap of the company president.
The following morning the sales department was amazed to see a memo from the president posted on the bulletin board beside the salesman's two letters. It said, 'We ben spending two much time tryin to spel and not enuf tryin to sel. Let's watch those sails. I want everybody should read these two letters from Gooch, who is on the rode doin a grate job for us, and you should go out and do like he dun.'
Degrees and titles are fine things, but armed with intuition and initiative, plus God's help, you are qualified!
February 27, 2010
Third time lucky?
Joseph's brothers resented his dream, so they sold him into slavery. David's family didn't consider him worthy of being king. The people who knew Jesus during His first 30 years said: '..."Where did this Man get this wisdom and these mighty works? Is this not the carpenter's son?"... So they were offended at Him...' (Matthew 13:54-57 NKJV).
You must realise that some of the people who knew you 'way back when' don't know you now, because they've 'pigeonholed you'. What should you do? Do what Jesus did - He moved on. What else could He do? He refused to allow others to keep Him stuck at a stage in His life that was past and gone, and you have got to do the same.
If you allow others to keep taking you down memory lane you'll eventually set up house, stay longer than you should and miss your God-given destiny. It's wonderful to have people in your life who know where you've been and can relate to where you're going. However, if you have to choose between then and now, sacrifice then, for it can't be rewritten, only replayed over and over.
Stop rehearsing your beginnings and write the rest of your story. The future is yours - seize it while you can.
There's a story of a hacker on a golf course who kept swinging at the ball and missing, repeatedly hitting an ant hill. Finally one ant took charge and said, 'Follow me.' Another ant yelled, 'But where are we going?' He pointed to the ball sitting in front of them. 'There. If we don't get on the ball we're going to die!'
Maybe it will get through this time.
I will not be dragged down by that world, or anyone in it.
Goodnight.
Respect
Why does it not surprise me...that anyone from that world of hookers and drug addicts would find it too difficult to respect my request to leave me alone?
Your respect regarding this matter would be greatly appreciated. You lot never respect anything else in life though, so i won't get my hopes up.
I am so glad that i did not get my hopes up.
You can send me copies and pastes of whatever you are bleating on about...and you still will not get a reaction from me other than to request again, that you respect my wishes, in not wanting to maintain contact with anyone from that world.
You are begging for more drama, and i will not be giving it to you.
Say what you like about me, my beliefs..whatever, if that is what makes you happy, but i don't need, nor do i want to be involved in that world, therefore i will never feel the need to defend myself, my beliefs, or my life to you, or any of your drug addict hooker friends...and before you start sticking up all over the place for poor Eden...lets not forget that it was you AND Georgia who both told me about her drug use...and it was you who told me how she has always referred to me as a slut...now why would you do that?
Must have been to keep the peace huh Neil?
I do not need, nor do i want, your approval.
The end.
Your respect regarding this matter would be greatly appreciated. You lot never respect anything else in life though, so i won't get my hopes up.
I am so glad that i did not get my hopes up.
You can send me copies and pastes of whatever you are bleating on about...and you still will not get a reaction from me other than to request again, that you respect my wishes, in not wanting to maintain contact with anyone from that world.
You are begging for more drama, and i will not be giving it to you.
Say what you like about me, my beliefs..whatever, if that is what makes you happy, but i don't need, nor do i want to be involved in that world, therefore i will never feel the need to defend myself, my beliefs, or my life to you, or any of your drug addict hooker friends...and before you start sticking up all over the place for poor Eden...lets not forget that it was you AND Georgia who both told me about her drug use...and it was you who told me how she has always referred to me as a slut...now why would you do that?
Must have been to keep the peace huh Neil?
I do not need, nor do i want, your approval.
The end.
People pleasers
Have you ever been around people pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety producing.
People pleasing is a behaviour we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves. to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self trust.
People pleasing can be overt. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when we were are really saying is, "I hope i am pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quickly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others.
Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family, and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.
Help me, God, work through my fears and begin to please myself.
This is something, as i have mentioned before, that i have had to recognise that i have an issue with, and work on. I think i have come along in leaps and bounds lately, when it comes to this. I will never, ever again, worry about what other people think of me.
It's a bit like the old analogy with the oxygen mask that drops down in airplanes...We are told to put our own one on first, then help others around us.
Right?
How can we please others, when we ourselves are not happy?
We can't.
Goodnight. x
Meth - Inside Out -Who's affected?
Chapter 4: Who's Affected
Examines rates of meth use across demographics of age, race, gender, and sexual preference, showing which populations are hardest hit.
Those bugs who's name i can't spell
without going to dictionary.com
Sick-ate-us
Yeah those things...i had the HUGEST, most ENORMOUS one on my windowsill for the last 2 days. I had considered taking a photo of it, to post on here, but every time i went to get the camera, it would go quiet and disappear. I struggled with the motivation to find it...once it went quiet.
Who was i to disturb it?
Anyway...it took me two days, to work out what was making that constant wrinkling up paper sound from everywhere in my house. The noise followed me, everywhere i went in my little home...it kind of reminded me how John Travolta's eyes used to follow me around the room from the GREASE album cover when i was 9...did i say that out loud? Oh dear.
Moving on...i don't know if i am only just noticing it now because i actually had one move into my home...or if they have only just come into season and started being really noisy...but my day started out, lying in bed, exchanging a few emails with a mate, looking out my bedroom at the blue sky...and listening to the "sick ate us" ... and enjoying the thought of how much my life has changed since this time last year.
I am now lying down on my bed again...listening to the same noise, and thinking for the second time today, just how fortunate i am. I am thinking about what is going on out there for other people in Auckland City today...other people that are not as fortunate as me...people that are stuck in the kind of life that i was stuck in this time last year.
I have had a fantastic day...i lounged around this morning and played on here and worked on the dreaded puzzle! I have now completed the entire border...except for one piece with a straight edge that i cannot find. No doubt it will turn up.
Nixon and i went for our big run. Today was a little bit cooler, so i did not feel like stopping and having a lie down at any point during the middle of our run, like i did yesterday, and the day before. We stopped at the dairy and purchased a bottle of Coke and some Reece's Peanut Butter Cups...YUMMMM...an American treat that the Asian shops always seem to stock these days...then ran the rest of the way home to catch up with a friend.
Had an awesome visit with him. He made me laugh so hard. We worked on the puzzle...but he was pretty useless help.
I went to put a DVD on to watch, and noticed that the girls have managed to break my DVD player, and not bother to tell me! hmmmm...lucky it is only a cheap $24.95 skc thingie from Woolworths that i purchased over a year ago. I think i got my money's worth out of it.
Soooo i was stuck watching "Survivor" reruns. I have never been interested in that show, and am now even less interested in it than i was before watching it this afternoon. All it is, is a bunch of drama queens that have not had a shower in days, running around backstabbing each other to save their own asses.
Not unlike the people that i have had in my life, until recently! Except for the shower part...i hope. hehe
On that note...i think i will put a doco on and have a nanna nap.
Back later! x
Sick-ate-us
Yeah those things...i had the HUGEST, most ENORMOUS one on my windowsill for the last 2 days. I had considered taking a photo of it, to post on here, but every time i went to get the camera, it would go quiet and disappear. I struggled with the motivation to find it...once it went quiet.
Who was i to disturb it?
Anyway...it took me two days, to work out what was making that constant wrinkling up paper sound from everywhere in my house. The noise followed me, everywhere i went in my little home...it kind of reminded me how John Travolta's eyes used to follow me around the room from the GREASE album cover when i was 9...did i say that out loud? Oh dear.
Moving on...i don't know if i am only just noticing it now because i actually had one move into my home...or if they have only just come into season and started being really noisy...but my day started out, lying in bed, exchanging a few emails with a mate, looking out my bedroom at the blue sky...and listening to the "sick ate us" ... and enjoying the thought of how much my life has changed since this time last year.
I am now lying down on my bed again...listening to the same noise, and thinking for the second time today, just how fortunate i am. I am thinking about what is going on out there for other people in Auckland City today...other people that are not as fortunate as me...people that are stuck in the kind of life that i was stuck in this time last year.
I have had a fantastic day...i lounged around this morning and played on here and worked on the dreaded puzzle! I have now completed the entire border...except for one piece with a straight edge that i cannot find. No doubt it will turn up.
Nixon and i went for our big run. Today was a little bit cooler, so i did not feel like stopping and having a lie down at any point during the middle of our run, like i did yesterday, and the day before. We stopped at the dairy and purchased a bottle of Coke and some Reece's Peanut Butter Cups...YUMMMM...an American treat that the Asian shops always seem to stock these days...then ran the rest of the way home to catch up with a friend.
Had an awesome visit with him. He made me laugh so hard. We worked on the puzzle...but he was pretty useless help.
I went to put a DVD on to watch, and noticed that the girls have managed to break my DVD player, and not bother to tell me! hmmmm...lucky it is only a cheap $24.95 skc thingie from Woolworths that i purchased over a year ago. I think i got my money's worth out of it.
Soooo i was stuck watching "Survivor" reruns. I have never been interested in that show, and am now even less interested in it than i was before watching it this afternoon. All it is, is a bunch of drama queens that have not had a shower in days, running around backstabbing each other to save their own asses.
Not unlike the people that i have had in my life, until recently! Except for the shower part...i hope. hehe
On that note...i think i will put a doco on and have a nanna nap.
Back later! x
Closing time
Back in the 90s, when internet couldn't buy a soul, hand phone was still brick size, children were still playing at outdoor, techno and rock were still on the radio. This song is dedicated to the good old 90s when everything was much simpler. Closing time ~every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end~Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from.~
I loved the 90s...i love this song too. This is from the same era as Wonderful by Everclear...and Fastball's ..The Way
I have been hunting and hunting on youtube for an embeddable copy of Everclear's Wonderful now video ...with no joy. Bloody EMI and their stink copyrights! hehe
O well...two of my favourites...Two out of three ain't bad ...right? hmmm add that one and it's 4 bahha
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Trust
This is going to be a very quick, and simple post, because i want to get back to my sleeping in.
I refuse to have anyone in my life that i do not trust.
Included in the group of people that i do not trust, are prostitutes that send me hideous long winded messages, that are just about dripping with negativity, making excuses for their awful lifestyle choices, while attempting to bring me down to their level by pointing out every single negative thing about my life that has occurred, over the past 2 years... while completely ignoring the positive.
...and anyone who knowingly associates with that type of person, and thinks it is ok for me to have to put up with that kind of repulsive behaviour from anyone...let alone a hooker.
...and anyone who tries to change my opinions and values, regarding matters that i feel strongly about.
If you fall in to one, more, or all three of the above mentioned categories...then i do not want to see your name in my email in box.
OK?
Your respect regarding this matter would be greatly appreciated. You lot never respect anything else in life though, so i won't get my hopes up.
PS...here is a copy of an email that i sent a friend recently. Maybe this will help explain my stance.
"After that Graeme thing...and watching how much they all loved the drama of it all...the excitement of someone doing something so hideous, then the excitement of the drama that their so called friend must being going through now...then the oh pity party on me attitude of Eden...just watching it all...made me realise that nothing positive could ever come from maintaining contact with any of them.
SS trying to glorify and justify that world to me...after everything i have been through was the finale for me
My friends response -
At least someone GETS it.
I refuse to have anyone in my life that i do not trust.
Included in the group of people that i do not trust, are prostitutes that send me hideous long winded messages, that are just about dripping with negativity, making excuses for their awful lifestyle choices, while attempting to bring me down to their level by pointing out every single negative thing about my life that has occurred, over the past 2 years... while completely ignoring the positive.
...and anyone who knowingly associates with that type of person, and thinks it is ok for me to have to put up with that kind of repulsive behaviour from anyone...let alone a hooker.
...and anyone who tries to change my opinions and values, regarding matters that i feel strongly about.
If you fall in to one, more, or all three of the above mentioned categories...then i do not want to see your name in my email in box.
OK?
Your respect regarding this matter would be greatly appreciated. You lot never respect anything else in life though, so i won't get my hopes up.
PS...here is a copy of an email that i sent a friend recently. Maybe this will help explain my stance.
"After that Graeme thing...and watching how much they all loved the drama of it all...the excitement of someone doing something so hideous, then the excitement of the drama that their so called friend must being going through now...then the oh pity party on me attitude of Eden...just watching it all...made me realise that nothing positive could ever come from maintaining contact with any of them.
SS trying to glorify and justify that world to me...after everything i have been through was the finale for me
My friends response -
Doesnt he get it? That lifestyle could have KILLED you jacs. Now i for one would have been very sad about that...for them it would just be something to gossip about.
At least someone GETS it.
God Experiences
Did not our heart burn while He talked with us? - Luke 24:32 NKJV
It's a gorgeous day out there today. I have a few hours to be all blobby, before it's let Nixon walk me hour...so i think i am going to go back to sleep for awhile.
x
Mobile phones, laptops, hand-held PCs and electronic organisers can become our slave drivers. We need to stop and ask ourselves, 'Can God interrupt me? Can He get my attention short of a catastrophe?' Some of your 'God experiences' will happen when you're preoccupied with something else. So pray that you'll be sensitive enough to realise it's God, and respond to Him rather than the pressures around you.I had an average sleep over night. My only issue, really, was the fact that both times, in the middle of the night that i took Nixon outside...i just HAD to stop at the puzzle, on my way back to bed.
If you decide to pursue your own agenda instead of God's, don't be surprised when you run into a brick wall and end up asking, 'What went wrong?' The answer is, you didn't take time for God!
Look at Mary and Martha when Jesus visited their home in Bethany. Martha's focus was on cooking dinner for Him; Mary's was on soaking up every word He spoke. Now both are necessary, but when forced to choose between the two the Lord will always choose the one who sits at His feet in adoration and learns from Him.
Listen to the words of a couple who'd just encountered Christ on the Emmaus Road following His resurrection, yet they didn't recognise Him: '..."Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road?"' (Luke 24:32 NKJV). God can give you a solution or a strategy 'on the road' that will solve a problem waiting for you at work. He can de-stress you so you sail confidently through a test in school. He can give you direction for the future while you're doing mundane things around the house. All He requires is that you be sensitive to Him, available to Him, and responsive to Him.
It's a gorgeous day out there today. I have a few hours to be all blobby, before it's let Nixon walk me hour...so i think i am going to go back to sleep for awhile.
x
February 26, 2010
Tiger Woods - Blah Blah Blah
In case you missed it, Tiger Woods apologized on Saturday. And boy did he apologise. 13 minutes it took him to read his insincere, rehearsed speech
If you can't be bothered watching the whole speech, have a listen to this remix - it really cuts out all the crap. Kesha vs. Tiger - "I'm So Sorry (Blah, Blah, Blah)".
Fran Capo who's the Guiness World Record holder for Fastest Female Talker - she can say 11 words a second!! She does a condensed down Tiger's lengthy 13 minute apology (you know because we all lead pretty busy lives - who can be bothered listening to a whole 13 minutes of Tiger grovelling?!).
Fran said her reading is slower than her talking - but she still managed to do it for us in four minutes 5 seconds!! That's a whopping eight minutes 55 seconds cut off Tiger's attempt! Have a listen below...
The Edge
Classic. What a hoot. bahhaha
If you can't be bothered watching the whole speech, have a listen to this remix - it really cuts out all the crap. Kesha vs. Tiger - "I'm So Sorry (Blah, Blah, Blah)".
Fran Capo who's the Guiness World Record holder for Fastest Female Talker - she can say 11 words a second!! She does a condensed down Tiger's lengthy 13 minute apology (you know because we all lead pretty busy lives - who can be bothered listening to a whole 13 minutes of Tiger grovelling?!).
Fran said her reading is slower than her talking - but she still managed to do it for us in four minutes 5 seconds!! That's a whopping eight minutes 55 seconds cut off Tiger's attempt! Have a listen below...
The Edge
Classic. What a hoot. bahhaha
What was i thinking?
This took me two hours....arrghhhh. Must...go...to...bed. I'm terrible with things like this. Once i start it, i can't stop. I have been known, in the past, to ring in sick at work to finish puzzles, and Crash Bandicoot games!
Obsessive compulsive...much?
O well ...it could be worse...i could be sitting here with a lounge full of crackies.
I love my life.
In Her Shoes
I have seen this movie before...but i stayed out of my bed tonight, and stayed up to watch it again. What a neat movie.
My chicken wrap has made me want to go for another run. Mental note - do not pig out on greasy chicken skin at 10pm.
Puzzle time.
Meth - Inside Out - Why meth?
HUMAN IMPACT provides an eye-opening introduction to meth's impact on individuals, families, and communities across the globe. Explores motivations for use including the need to escape negative feelings, lose weight, enhance sex, and increase energy. Reveals how many of these factors impact women disproportionately, resulting in specialized needs in recovery. Focuses on the magnitude and consequences of use, including job and property loss, poverty, incarceration, and effects on children. Spotlights the link between meth and violence, especially domestic violence and crimes that result in imprisonment. Concludes with realistic solutions.
Chapter 3: Why Meth?
Explores individual motivations for meth use, including the need for acceptance, the desire to escape negative feelings, pressures to be thin, and the intense physical rush.
Accepting imperfection
"Why do i do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because i ate half a cookie that was not on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before i came to the group, as though i were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now i know that i am dieting as well as most, and better than some."Today, I will love and encourage myself. I will tell myself that what i am doing is good enough, and i will let myself enjoy that feeling.
Why do we do this to ourselves? I am not talking strictly about dieting; I am talking about life. Why do we punish ourselves by thinking that we are inferior, while believing that others are perfect- whether in relationships, recovery, or a specific task?
Whether we are judging ourselves or others, it's two sides of the same coin: perfection. Neither expectation is valid.
It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is ok and what we are doing is good enough. That does not mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve. It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course. Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track.
Hmmm i think there must be someone out there that reads my blog that must have needed this message tonight. I don't really have a problem in this area. I am overly proud of how far i have come and of my life these days. There is not one thing that i can think of that i am ashamed of anymore. This is mostly thanks to my friends and family, that have offered me their unconditional love, support, encouragement, and lack of judgement.
I am the shizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...and i know it. bahhahhaa
I have a roast chicken, cooking in my oven right now...I am cooking it with a light coating of butter and Cajun spices and it smells yummmmmyyyy...Since i am here all by myself until next Wednesday, i think that pretty much means that my $9.00 frozen chicken (size 18) on special from Pak n Save...is going to feed me via chicken wraps and sandwiches until it is either all gone or has gone off and i need to biff it in order to avoid a nasty bout of compilabacta.
I miss the girls right now, and will miss them all weekend...however, it sure is peaceful here at the moment...peaceful and clean.
I have a 1000 piece puzzle (Thank you Ann!) that i am going to make it my mission to finish before Wednesday, so that i can swap it for another one! ( Ann has like 12 of them) In fact i will make it my mission to complete all of them by the end of my sentence haha
I have the big ex real estate cardboard sign / mobile puzzle table all set up and ready for action! yeeehhaaaa i am living life on the edge! hehe I love it.
Goodnight. xoxo
TV host Henry smashes Yahoo!Xtra poll record - Yahoo!Xtra News
TVNZ 'Breakfast' co-host Paul Henry may be controversial, but he’s still the best way to start the day, according to a poll on Yahoo!Xtra.The world has gone PC MAD...Paul Henry is a breath of fresh air. I love HONEST people that actually say what they think, rather than saying what they think everyone else wants to hear.
Love him or hate him, Henry picked up a stunning 20,366 votes in favour of his return on Monday when Yahoo!Xtra asked "Do you want Paul Henry back on 'Breakfast'?".
Proving he is still a massive drawcard, a total of 36,796 votes were cast in response to the question this week - the highest response ever to a Yahoo!Xtra daily poll.
Henry has been on leave from his position since late last year, with his chair being filled by a roster of other TVNZ talent.
In recent weeks Alison Mau stepped into the presenting role and has garnered considerable public support.
However, 55 per cent of poll respondents are ready to welcome Henry back, saying “Yes, he’s funny”, while just 12 per cent said they preferred the current pairing of Mau and Pippa Wetzell.
Twenty-five per cent did not want Henry back on their screens, saying he was offensive, while eight per cent said they didn’t care.
Henry’s provocative comments tend to polarise his viewers, causing widespread outrage at times, but garnering support from many who enjoy his "non-PC" outlook on life.
"As New Zealand’s biggest portal, Yahoo!Xtra offers an immediate and often surprising insight into the attitudes of the nation through its daily polls," says Laura Maxwell-Hansen, General Manager.
As well as the record-breaking poll, the story also stirred debate in Yahoo!Xtra’s message boards, with passionate posts from users on both sides of the argument.
The world needs more Paul Henrys.
Meth - Inside Out - Global Problem
Oh look, New Zealand got a special mention, when investigating meth's global impact through a look at patterns of use around the world.
February 25, 2010
Animal cruelty bill gets unanimous backing
Parliament has unanimously supported a bill that significantly increases penalties for cruelty to animals.
The Government's Animal Welfare Amendment Bill passed its first reading today, with MPs praising its provisions and saying they were necessary.
The legislation began as a member's bill drafted by National's Simon Bridges, but the Government took it over and ensured it was high on Parliament's agenda.
It increases the maximum sentence for wilful ill-treatment of an animal from three years to five years. Maximum fines will double to $100,000 for an individual and $500,000 for a company.
Agriculture Minister David Carter, who is in charge of the bill, said it was intended to send a clear message that serious offending against animals was unacceptable.
"It is unacceptable to our society and a priority for this government," he said when the first reading debate began last week.
"People who are capable of cruelty to animals are also capable of violence to their families and others."
The bill will also create a new offence of reckless ill-treatment of an animal.
It will apply where it can be proved that a person knew or appreciated that serious harm to an animal could occur, and unreasonably ran the risk anyway.
The Green Party supported the bill, although it doesn't think it goes far enough.
MP Sue Kedgley said it dealt only with individual acts of cruelty and ignored "the wider institutional abuse of animals".
"Provisions relating to the abuse of farm animals need to be strengthened, and not just those relating to companion animals or pets," she said.
She also said there were too few inspectors to enforce any new laws.
Ms Kedgley said MAF had only five full time animal welfare investigators who currently monitor the welfare of 43 million animals.
"The Government has effectively abdicated their duty to police animal welfare to inspectors from the SPCA -- a charitable organisation which relies on the public for donations," she said.
Ms Kedgley is going to try to amend the bill during its subsequent stages through Parliament.
It has been sent to the primary production select committee for public submissions.
NZPA
For once, I agree with the Green Party. While this is better than nothing, the penalties for cruelty to animals should be even harsher than outlined in this article. The number of cases of horrifying acts of cruelty to innocent animals has been increasing, and the cases have been more and more disgusting every time a new one is reported.
Obviously, the examples that have been set, by way of sentences for offenders in the past, have not been a deterrent to the long list of criminals before the courts at the moment for the hideous crimes of cruelty that they have committed.
Bail for Auckland man who swung rabbit by ears
Kitten killer gets 7 months
Man who fed kittens to pitbull to be sentenced
Dog slaughter charges weeks away - SPCA
Police look for bodies of shot dogs
That's just what i easily found in the last couple of minutes...
You only have to watch one documentary or read one book about any of history's infamous serial killers...Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer are two that come to my mind straight away...to be aware of how violence to animals is usually behaviour that precedes violence towards humans.
This kind of violence usually has an ever increasing tolerance level. What was once exciting to a person that can do this kind of thing...will eventually become boring, not unlike the behaviour of say...a sex addict...and they need to move on to even more violent offending.
A 7 month prison sentence for feeding kittens to a pit bull, is pathetic. He will be out in less than 3 months.
Stupid.
moan moan moan blah blah moan moan.
Crazy.
I am so glad that i have my Nixon back.
Meth - Inside Out. Human Impact - The Problem
HUMAN IMPACT provides an eye-opening introduction to meth's impact on individuals, families, and communities across the globe. Explores motivations for use including the need to escape negative feelings, lose weight, enhance sex, and increase energy. Reveals how many of these factors impact women disproportionately, resulting in specialized needs in recovery. Focuses on the magnitude and consequences of use, including job and property loss, poverty, incarceration, and effects on children. Spotlights the link between meth and violence, especially domestic violence and crimes that result in imprisonment.
Cold showers and cold crispy red apples
are the best things in the world right now!
We took a different route today. I figured Nixon deserved some new smells, after not getting as much exercise this past month, as he is used to.
It took us longer. At one stage Nixon just walked straight into a bush and had a lie down in there...as far as his leash would let him go. I let him have a wee rest for a few minutes, then eventually had to pull him out and keep going. It is STINKING hot out there. It is almost unbearable. I had wet hair by the time we got back home and it was NOT raining.
Mental.
I just had a freezing cold shower. I then poured myself a cold glass of water from the fridge, and ate an apple. That was the yummiest apple that i have ever eaten in my life. I have never been big on fruit, but i am getting addicted to it these days. That is one addiction that i will keep.
I had just finished my apple, when there was a knock on the door. It was Armourguard! bhahahah I nearly had a heart attack and thought i was going to get taken away. I guess my probation officer had not yet put my absence to walk the dog, in the system. Lucky i had my blue form that she had filled out, saying i had permission to be away from home.
All is still good in the land of Home D.
Anyway...by the time i sat back down to drink my glass of water...the water that had been ice cold 15 minutes ago...was warm.
WHAT????
Crazy.
I don't have to leave here until about 4 to go get the girls, so i think i might have a nanna nap now. I am tired after the sticky humid night we just had.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
PS...I hope Penny did not notice the big brown security guard that just banged on my door...ugh. How am i going to explain that one???
We took a different route today. I figured Nixon deserved some new smells, after not getting as much exercise this past month, as he is used to.
It took us longer. At one stage Nixon just walked straight into a bush and had a lie down in there...as far as his leash would let him go. I let him have a wee rest for a few minutes, then eventually had to pull him out and keep going. It is STINKING hot out there. It is almost unbearable. I had wet hair by the time we got back home and it was NOT raining.
Mental.
I just had a freezing cold shower. I then poured myself a cold glass of water from the fridge, and ate an apple. That was the yummiest apple that i have ever eaten in my life. I have never been big on fruit, but i am getting addicted to it these days. That is one addiction that i will keep.
I had just finished my apple, when there was a knock on the door. It was Armourguard! bhahahah I nearly had a heart attack and thought i was going to get taken away. I guess my probation officer had not yet put my absence to walk the dog, in the system. Lucky i had my blue form that she had filled out, saying i had permission to be away from home.
All is still good in the land of Home D.
Anyway...by the time i sat back down to drink my glass of water...the water that had been ice cold 15 minutes ago...was warm.
WHAT????
Crazy.
I don't have to leave here until about 4 to go get the girls, so i think i might have a nanna nap now. I am tired after the sticky humid night we just had.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
PS...I hope Penny did not notice the big brown security guard that just banged on my door...ugh. How am i going to explain that one???
I'm back
Did you miss meeeee? I bet you did!
Right...so that was probation stuff all finished for this week. I have set times from now on until the end of my sentence, to walk Nixon every day, and pick up and drop off the girls, and do shopping etc.
Up until now, my probation officer was having to fill in forms for every single time i needed to go anywhere. Now i just have two forms, for the rest of my sentence. She won't need to fill in any forms unless i have to do something like go for a job interview, look for a new home...etc (both things that are in the pipeline right now)
I am glad that she will be relieved of all that paper work in relation to me. My hand would get sore just watching all the writing on forms that she had to do, every time i saw her!
I took the book that i am reading at the moment with me, to read while i was in the waiting room. It is the book that my Dad sent me, to help me better manage the issues that i have with regards to Fred. It's all about not taking offense, or holding grudges, or attempting to get revenge etc etc...
I got strange looks from the other criminals in the waiting room when i laughed out loud while reading it. I HAVE to share. It's funny and makes such a valid point!
Is God in Control?
LOVING this book Dad. THANK YOU! What an eye opener, and way to put a whole new perspective on a boatload of things...and good for a giggle too!
Walk time for Nixy Pixy
Right...so that was probation stuff all finished for this week. I have set times from now on until the end of my sentence, to walk Nixon every day, and pick up and drop off the girls, and do shopping etc.
Up until now, my probation officer was having to fill in forms for every single time i needed to go anywhere. Now i just have two forms, for the rest of my sentence. She won't need to fill in any forms unless i have to do something like go for a job interview, look for a new home...etc (both things that are in the pipeline right now)
I am glad that she will be relieved of all that paper work in relation to me. My hand would get sore just watching all the writing on forms that she had to do, every time i saw her!
I took the book that i am reading at the moment with me, to read while i was in the waiting room. It is the book that my Dad sent me, to help me better manage the issues that i have with regards to Fred. It's all about not taking offense, or holding grudges, or attempting to get revenge etc etc...
I got strange looks from the other criminals in the waiting room when i laughed out loud while reading it. I HAVE to share. It's funny and makes such a valid point!
Is God in Control?
I imagine it never crossed Joseph's mind until it was all over that this was God's process to prepare him to rule. How would he use his future authority over these brothers who betrayed him? Joseph was learning obedience by what he suffered. His brothers were skillfully wielded instruments in the hand of God. Would Joseph hold fast to the promise, seeking God for it's purpose?Now comes the part that made me giggle out loud in that waiting room...
Perhaps when Joseph had his dreams he saw them as a confirmation of the favour on his life. He had not yet learned that authority is given to serve, not to set you apart. Often in these training periods we focus on the impossibility of our circumstances, instead of the greatness of God. As a result we are discouraged and need to blame someone, so we look for the one we feel is responsible for our despair. When we face the fact that God could have prevented our whole mess - and didn't - we often blame him.
This kept ringing through Joseph's mind: "I have lived in accordance to what i know of God. I have not transgressed his statutes or nature. I was only repeating a dream God Himself gave me. And what's the result? My brothers betray me, and I'm sold as a slave! My Dad thinks i am dead and never comes to Egypt to find me."
To him, the bottom line was his brothers. They were the force that had thrown him into this dungeon. Maybe he entertained thoughts of how things would be different once he was in power, when God put him in the position of authority he had seen in the dreams. How different it all would be if his brothers had not aborted his future.
How often do we hear our brothers and sisters fall into the same trap of assigning blame? For example:
"If it weren't for my parents, i would have a normal life. They are to blame for where i am today. How come others have normal parents, and I don't? If my mom and dad didn't get divorced i would have been much better off in my own marriage."
"If it weren't for my former husband, my kids and i would not have all this financial trouble."
The list is endless. It is easy to blame everyone else for the problems you have and imagine how much better off you would be if it had not been for all those around you. You know that your disappointment and hurt are their fault.
I want to emphasize the following point: Absolutely no man, woman, child, or devil can ever get you out of the will of God! No one but God holds your destiny. Joseph's brothers tried hard to destroy the vision God gave him. They thought they had ended it for Joseph. They said out of their own mouths, "Come, therefore, let us now kill him and cast him into some pit....We shall see what will become of his dreams!" (Gen. 37:20) They were out to destroy him. It wasn't an accident. It was deliberate! They wanted no chance of his ever succeeding.
Now, do you think that when they sold him as a slave, God in heaven looked at the Son and the Holy Spirit and said, "What are we going to do now? Look at what his brothers have done. They have ruined our plan for Joseph. We had better think of something quick! Do we have an alternate plan??"
Many Christians respond to crisis situations as if this is exactly what transpires in heaven. Can you just see the Father saying to Jesus, "Jesus, Jim just got fired because a fellow believer lied about him. What are we going to do? Do you have any positions open down there?" Or "Jesus, Sally is thirty-four and not married yet. Do you have any available guys down there for her? The man i wanted her to marry got married to her best friend, who gossiped about her and turned his heart away."
It sounds absurd, yet the way we react insinuates that this is the way we view God.
Lets see how Joseph would fare in our churches today. If he was like most if us, do you know what he would be doing? Plotting revenge. He would comfort himself with such thoughts as, "When i get my hands on them, i'll kill then! I will kill them for what they have done to me. They are going to pay for this."
But if Joseph had actually had that attitude, God would have left him in that dungeon (or with his Meth addiction, surrounded by hookers and drug addicts haha) to rot. That's because if he had gotten out of prison with this motive, he would have killed the heads of ten of the twelve tribes of Israel. This would include Judah, from whose lineage Christ would descend. - taken from The Bait of Satan - Living free from the deadly trap of offense, by John Bevere
LOVING this book Dad. THANK YOU! What an eye opener, and way to put a whole new perspective on a boatload of things...and good for a giggle too!
Walk time for Nixy Pixy
Roll on winter
I can't quite believe that i am saying this, but i am kind of looking forward to this weather cooling off a bit.
I had the stickiest, hottest, worst, sleep, in the history of sticky, hot, bad sleeps last night. I woke up in a sweaty damp nanna nightie way too many times.
Gross.
I am a bit over this heat. I can't quite believe that i am saying this, because i LOVE summer, and LOATHE winter and being cold...but this heat is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am off to the probation office shortly...back later on!
Good morning sunshine!
I had the stickiest, hottest, worst, sleep, in the history of sticky, hot, bad sleeps last night. I woke up in a sweaty damp nanna nightie way too many times.
Gross.
I am a bit over this heat. I can't quite believe that i am saying this, because i LOVE summer, and LOATHE winter and being cold...but this heat is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am off to the probation office shortly...back later on!
Good morning sunshine!
Meth - Inside Out
Meth Inside Out is a groundbreaking video-based treatment curriculum on methamphetamine addiction and recovery. The series is designed to equip meth users, their families, and the professionals who assist them with a solid understanding of the biological basis of addiction, effective tools for recovery, and, most importantly, hope for the future.
Learning from others
A king rejoices in wise servants - Proverbs 14:35 NLT
With all the reading and writing i am doing while stuck at home by myself...i think i have lots of opportunities coming my way!
Back to zzzzzzzzz for me. I just woke up so hot and sticky. I am ready for this heatwave to end. I am actually looking forward to winter now...even though i only own summer clothing! haa
I just took Nixon out to do his thing. I managed to scoff 2 chocolate chip cookies, during that time. It's always nice to be able to eat without Nixon giving me the guilt eye.
I have cooled off a bit now.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Every five years, knowledge in most major fields doubles. That means if you do not stay sharp you will be left behind. Repeating the same lessons over and over means you are not learning enough. Study those who have succeeded where you want to succeed, in order to know what to do and what not to do. Admiral Hyman Rickover said, 'Learn from the mistakes of others; you will never live long enough to make them all yourself.' To climb the next rung of the ladder use these three guidelines.
First, do not shrink away from people whose experience and expertise are greater than your own. Peter writes, 'God has given each of you some special abilities… use them to help each other… ' (1 Peter 4:10 TLB). We all struggle in certain areas; be careful lest your insecurity be misinterpreted as arrogance.
Second, do not try to impress people by seeking to be their intellectual equal. If you find yourself in a discussion that intimidates you, listen carefully, ask questions, talk only about what you know and listen attentively to what you do not. The next time you meet you will be that much further ahead.Finally, do not come to class unless you have done your homework.
When God starts taking you higher, prepare your speech, your wardrobe, and your mind. Consult a trusted friend who understands where you are and where you need to go. If you cannot find one, read up until you grasp the basics. Solomon says, 'A king rejoices in servants who know what they are doing.' The more you prepare yourself, the more opportunities God will give you.
With all the reading and writing i am doing while stuck at home by myself...i think i have lots of opportunities coming my way!
Back to zzzzzzzzz for me. I just woke up so hot and sticky. I am ready for this heatwave to end. I am actually looking forward to winter now...even though i only own summer clothing! haa
I just took Nixon out to do his thing. I managed to scoff 2 chocolate chip cookies, during that time. It's always nice to be able to eat without Nixon giving me the guilt eye.
I have cooled off a bit now.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
February 24, 2010
How sad is this?
From this - This is the most beautiful song, and what an amazing performance. Watching this gives me chills...in a good way.
To this...last night in Brisbane. Gives me chills, in a bad way. That is a real tragedy, and shows, again, just how destructive substance abuse is.
To this...last night in Brisbane. Gives me chills, in a bad way. That is a real tragedy, and shows, again, just how destructive substance abuse is.
Recognising feelings
Experiencing feelings can be a challenge if we have had no previous experience or permission to do that. Learning to identify what we are feeling is a challenge we can meet, but we will not become experts overnight. Nor do we have to deal with our feelings perfectly.Today, I will watch myself and listen to myself as i go through my day. I will not judge myself for what i am feeling. I will accept myself.
Her are some ideas that might be helpful as you learn to recognise and deal with feelings.
Take out a sheet of paper. On the top of it write, "if it was ok to feel whatever i am feeling, and i would not be judged as bad or wrong, what would i be feeling?" Then write whatever comes to mind. You can also use the favourite standby of many people in discovering their feelings: writing or journaling. You can keep a diary, write letters you don't intend to send, or just scribble thoughts onto a notepad.
Watch and listen to yourself as an objective third person might. Listen to your tone of voice and the words you use. What do you hear? Sadness, fear. anger, happiness?
What is your body telling you? Is it tense and rigid with anger? Running with fear? heavy with sadness and grief? Dancing with joy?
Talking to people helps too.
We are on a continual treasure hunt. One of the treasures we are seeking is the emotional part of ourselves. We don't have to do it perfectly. We need only be honest, open, and willing to try. Our emotions are there waiting to share themselves with us.
I am so smart...aren't I? I knew the value of writing all of my feelings down, writing letters that i couldn't send, and documenting all my thoughts...long before i read this.
Maybe this will help others, who did not understand the motive behind my blog, or assumed i had some ulterior motive when i started it, understand how it has helped me. A lot of people from my past have criticised me, for writing my blog. Some have even tried to have it removed.
People with good intentions, that wanted to help me, always knew that the only purpose for my blog was to help me through a very difficult time. Those people now encourage me to keep writing every day.
Even my probation officer and her colleague, read it, and enjoy it. She asked me today, if i have ever considered writing a book, and told me i make her laugh. That made me feel good.
I am proud of my blog.
Goodnight.
PS...Nixon just did the MEAN fart. Man he wreaks sometimes!
Atheists consider legal action against NZ Bus
Atheists consider legal action against NZ Bus - Story - Business - 3 News
Blah blah blah Human Rights Commission blah blah blah
Now they are going to apply for legal aid, in order to force their opinions on others? That is almost as worthwhile a use of taxpayers dollars as the contents of Graeme Burton's ever increasing gut.
Organisers of a controversial campaign to get pro-atheism ads on buses say they may go to the Human Rights Review Tribunal after transport company NZ Bus backtracked on plans to allow the ads.
The Atheist Bus Campaign last year raised more than $22,000 to fund the ads, which created a storm when they ran in the United Kingdom, Canada, Germany, and Spain.
The ads read, "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life".
Similar campaigns have run in Australia, the United States and several European countries.
NZ Bus tentatively approved the ads for buses in major centres, but later backtracked after receiving a number of complaints from the public and staff.
The company has defended the decision, saying it has the right to decline ads that it sees as controversial or divisive.
Campaign spokesman Simon Fisher said NZ Bus had double standards, given that religious ads were regularly allowed on buses.
"It's really disappointing. It does seem to show that there is a bit of a double standard out there when it comes to ads like this," he told NZPA.
"It needs to be out there in public. We need to get people in the street to stop and look and think about what they believe, and why they believe these things."
Campaign organisers had tried to reach a compromise with NZ Bus and invited staff to mediation sessions through the Human Rights Commission, but the company declined, Mr Fisher said.
"Putting up that wall between us didn't allow us to have any sort of discussion, any dialogue about how we could allay their fears, how we could possibly change the content of the ad, or how we could get around it being so controversial - even though I'm not sure it could be less controversial," he said.
"They were fixed in their ideas and they didn't want to hear what we said, and they basically said that `whatever you say won't change our minds'."
The group was considering taking the case to the Human Rights Review Tribunal, Mr Fisher said.
Donations would not be used to pay legal costs, so organisers were considering whether to apply for legal aid through the tribunal's review board.
"The decision there is basically whether or not it's going to be worth our time."
Another option would be to run the ads in other highly-visible public advertising spaces, such as billboards or bus shelters, Mr Fisher said.
NZ Bus spokeswoman Siobhan O'Donovan said the campaign had drawn a "significant reaction" from passengers and staff, with a number finding it distasteful or distressing.
"NZ Bus has the right to decline advertising that may, in its perception, be considered controversial or divisive," she said.
"We have said `no thank you' to Mr Fisher and have wished him well in his endeavours to secure a bus company to work with."
NZPA
"There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life".Obviously no creative genius came up with this little catch phrase...it is about as catchy, entertaining, or memorable, as ....something i can't remember right now. Strange one too...considering i worry less now, than i ever have before, in my entire life. I have nothing to worry about now. I think most people who believe in God, feel the same.
Campaign spokesman Simon Fisher said NZ Bus had double standards, given that religious ads were regularly allowed on buses.When? I have never seen one.
Blah blah blah Human Rights Commission blah blah blah
Now they are going to apply for legal aid, in order to force their opinions on others? That is almost as worthwhile a use of taxpayers dollars as the contents of Graeme Burton's ever increasing gut.
The prostitution debate
I have been reading debates in relation to this today. I have not read much that i did not already know, or an argument that i had not already heard a hundred times before...
Until i read this....
Prostitution is an inappropriate solution to poverty
How about you give it a go? Since it is such a positive way for a woman to earn a living (in your eyes) ...why is it never suggested for men?
I can imagine that many men's opinions would change on this subject, if they were ever at risk of having to lower themselves to do the things that prostitutes do on a daily basis, or put up with the treatment that they have accepted is all they are worthy of.
When women are allowed to become a legitimate commodity, they are consigned to a second-class citizenship. That is a fact.
Until i read this....
Prostitution is an inappropriate solution to poverty
"Some prostitution defenders argue that prostitution is an acceptable solution to poverty....That is the best point that i have read all day, and not unlike the one that i suggested to SS this morning. So SS...since you think prostitution is such a positive career move, and that the women involved in it are so glamorous, sexy, and happy....and involved in that life because they are just gagging for it all day long...
What they mean, but do not say, is that prostitution is an acceptable solution for women living in poverty. Seldom do we see proposals that poor men should make their way out of poverty by welcoming the insertion of penises and other objects into them on a regular basis or dance naked on a stage in front of ogling and masturbating males.
The prostitution industry exploits to its advantage the fact that most women and children who are in prostitution come from the most oppressed and vulnerable groups in society."
How about you give it a go? Since it is such a positive way for a woman to earn a living (in your eyes) ...why is it never suggested for men?
I can imagine that many men's opinions would change on this subject, if they were ever at risk of having to lower themselves to do the things that prostitutes do on a daily basis, or put up with the treatment that they have accepted is all they are worthy of.
When women are allowed to become a legitimate commodity, they are consigned to a second-class citizenship. That is a fact.
Nixon's suffering is all but over!
I just had a lovely visit from my probation officer...and Nixon is now allowed a walk every day!
How wonderful is that?
No more going stir crazy in my little flat for Nixon! No more having to put up with him nudging me with his wet nose all afternoon, while i tap away on my laptop. That is how he tells me he wants a walk, or to go outside....he comes and sits right next to me and does not allow me to type. If he wants something and i am on the laptop...he sits there and nudges my hands with his wet nose, every time i attempt to touch my keyboard! haha
He's no dummy, my Nixon.
As from today, i am allowed an hour to walk him every day.
Could today be any better?
My only concerns while on Home detention have been Nixon and the kids. My suffering and boredom, have not worried me. I know i need to suffer...but i am glad that Nixon no longer has to!
yiiippeeeeeee
How wonderful is that?
No more going stir crazy in my little flat for Nixon! No more having to put up with him nudging me with his wet nose all afternoon, while i tap away on my laptop. That is how he tells me he wants a walk, or to go outside....he comes and sits right next to me and does not allow me to type. If he wants something and i am on the laptop...he sits there and nudges my hands with his wet nose, every time i attempt to touch my keyboard! haha
He's no dummy, my Nixon.
As from today, i am allowed an hour to walk him every day.
Could today be any better?
My only concerns while on Home detention have been Nixon and the kids. My suffering and boredom, have not worried me. I know i need to suffer...but i am glad that Nixon no longer has to!
yiiippeeeeeee
When tempted, change your focus
Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee - James 4:7 NKJV
The polar bear story, reminds me of my quitting smoking. I am sweet as and can go days without a cigarette now
...until
i....think...about...how...nice...one...would...be...right...now...bahahhaha
I have cleaning to do. x
Pastor Jon Walker writes: 'When Tolstoy was a boy he started "The White Polar Bear Club". To become a member you had to stand for 30 minutes and not think of a white polar bear. Have you ever intentionally tried not to think about something? It's almost impossible!
We often handle temptation in a similar fashion. We think we can stand near it, and if we don't think about it we'll have the victory. The problem is, the more we try not to concentrate on it the more it becomes the centre of our focus... the longer we think about not submitting the more likely it is that we will.
The Bible says: "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7 NIV). We quote the latter half of the verse, but if all you're doing is focusing on the devil you're still focusing on the temptation. I'm not suggesting... you shouldn't say, "Get thee behind me, satan." I'm saying you can't do it in your own strength; you do it by humbling yourself before God, recognising that He's your strength...
When you keep your eyes on Him the Devil will flee because you're resisting him by embracing God. Be humble enough to seek help. A sure sign you're about to fall is when you think, "I can handle this on my own." See this as an urgent alarm to submit to God and say, "Lord, I need your strength and wisdom. Lead me not into temptation." Then walk away from the temptation. And if you need to, call a friend for prayer and accountability.'
The polar bear story, reminds me of my quitting smoking. I am sweet as and can go days without a cigarette now
...until
i....think...about...how...nice...one...would...be...right...now...bahahhaha
I have cleaning to do. x
Prove me wrong then
If i am making "sweeping generalisations" as i have heard, this morning that Secret Squirrel has said...prove me wrong then SS.
Name one happy, well adjusted, and issue- free hooker, that we both know.
I don't need to wait around to hear what your response is to that, because we both know, that you can't.
and that about ends this little debate.
I shouldn't be surprised that you can sit there and justify your use of prostitutes, and encourage women that you know are not happy to continue that life...considering what you seem to be ok with your own daughter doing for a living.
I won't advertise what that is, but i am sure that everyone can pretty much work it out for themselves.
I did not make one "generalisation"...i did not exaggerate...nor did i lie. My "Tacky" post from yesterday was my experience involved in that world. I saw it for myself, i experienced it, therefor i do not need to make generalisations.
When you have been a hooker, SS, and lived that life, maybe then you will understand where i am coming from a little bit more. When you have lived in that much shame, and thought so little of yourself, that you thought it was ok to let foul men use your body for an hour at a time, day in and day out, then i will consider listening to your argument on how glamorous and sexy and happy that life is...
Until then, i will just keep praying for you...and being grateful for the happiness that i experience, knowing that i never again, have to be around people that live that kind of life.
No one will be "in my ear" telling me what your latest spin is. This is a no spin zone.
Name one happy, well adjusted, and issue- free hooker, that we both know.
I don't need to wait around to hear what your response is to that, because we both know, that you can't.
and that about ends this little debate.
I shouldn't be surprised that you can sit there and justify your use of prostitutes, and encourage women that you know are not happy to continue that life...considering what you seem to be ok with your own daughter doing for a living.
I won't advertise what that is, but i am sure that everyone can pretty much work it out for themselves.
I did not make one "generalisation"...i did not exaggerate...nor did i lie. My "Tacky" post from yesterday was my experience involved in that world. I saw it for myself, i experienced it, therefor i do not need to make generalisations.
When you have been a hooker, SS, and lived that life, maybe then you will understand where i am coming from a little bit more. When you have lived in that much shame, and thought so little of yourself, that you thought it was ok to let foul men use your body for an hour at a time, day in and day out, then i will consider listening to your argument on how glamorous and sexy and happy that life is...
Until then, i will just keep praying for you...and being grateful for the happiness that i experience, knowing that i never again, have to be around people that live that kind of life.
No one will be "in my ear" telling me what your latest spin is. This is a no spin zone.
Five Sleep Mistakes & Solutions
Although we may not like to admit it, many of the sleep problems we experience are the result of bad habits and behaviors. We stay up late or sleep in late. We eat foods that disagree with us or enjoy a drink late at night, oblivious to their disruptive impact on our sleep rhythms. Over time, we teach our body not to sleep and for relief we often turn to sleeping pills, which mask rather than solve the problem, and can lead to addiction. Ultimately for real success, with insomnia as with any chronic problem, one must look for the underlying imbalances and root causes and address those.
Here are the common sleep “mistakes” I see in my practice and their solutions.
MISTAKE #1 Using sleeping pills to fall and stay asleep.
Sleeping pills mask sleep problems and do not resolve the underlying cause of insomnia. Many sleep studies have concluded that sleeping pills, whether prescription or over the counter, over the long term, do more harm than good. They can be highly addictive and studies have found them to be potentially dangerous. (see studies below)
For short term use, there may be indications for sleeping pills, but over time, sleeping pills can actually make insomnia worse, not better. If you have been taking them for a long time, ask our doctor to help you design a regimen to wean yourself off them.
SOLUTION Learn relaxation techniques.
Aside from physical problems, stress may be the number one cause of sleep disorders. Temporary stress can lead to chronic insomnia and circadian rhythm sleep disorders. Many people tell me they can’t switch off their racing minds and therefore can’t sleep.
Do some breathing exercises, restorative yoga or meditation. These will calm the mind and reduce the fears and worries that trigger the stress.
MISTAKE #2 Using alcohol to fall asleep.
Because of alcohol’s sedating effect, many people with insomnia drink alcohol to promote sleep. Alcohol does have an initial sleep-inducing effect, but as it gets broken down by the body, it usually impairs sleep during the second half of the night leading to a reduction in overall sleep time. Habitual alcohol consumption just before bedtime can reduce its sleep-inducing effect, while its disruptive effects continue or even increase.
SOLUTION Take nutrients that calm the body and mind, getting you ready for sleep.
Don’t drink alcohol to help you sleep. Look for a calming formula that has some of the following: amino acids, L theanine, taurine, 5 HTP and GABA, and herbs like lemon balm, passion flower, chamomile and valerian root. Taking the minerals, calcium and magnesium at night is also helpful. For some people, especially folks over 50, melatonin can be helpful too. This is because the body produces less melatonin with advancing age and may explain why elderly people often have difficulty sleeping and respond well to melatonin.
MISTAKE #3 Watching television to fall asleep.
Because we have no trouble at all falling asleep in the living room in front of the TV many of us watch TV in bed to fall asleep. But when we fall asleep in a bed watching TV, we invariably wake up later on. This sets up a cycle or conditioning that reinforces poor sleep at night. I have had many patients over the years develop insomnia due to this type of conditioning.
SOLUTION Get the TV out of the bedroom.
Don’t watch TV in bed, the bed should be associated with sleep (and sex).
MISTAKE #4 Staying in bed hoping to fall asleep.
If you can’t fall asleep within 30-45 minutes, chances are you won’t for at least another hour, and perhaps even longer. You may have missed the open “sleep gate” or missed catching the sleep wave. A “sleep gate” is the open window of time your body will allow you to fall asleep. Researchers have found that our brain goes through several sleep cycles each night where all sleep phases are repeated. These cycles last from 90 minutes to 2 hours, and at the beginning of each cycle, the body’s “sleep gate” opens. You won’t be able to fall asleep when your sleep gate is closed.
SOLUTION Catch the sleep wave.
If you find you can’t fall asleep within 45 minutes, get up and get out of the bedroom. Read a book, do a restorative yoga pose or do some other calming activity for another 1 -1½ hours before trying to sleep again. Staying in bed only causes stress over not sleeping.
It is like surfing, you need to catch that sleep wave. Haven’t you noticed that you can be exhausted and yet you avoid going to sleep and then a few hours later when you are ready for bed, you are suddenly wide awake? You missed the wave.
MISTAKE #5 Making sleep a performance issue.
Often just thinking about sleep affects your ability to fall asleep. What happens frequently is that the way you cope with the insomnia becomes as much of a problem as the insomnia itself. It often becomes a vicious cycle of worrying about not being able to sleep, which leads to worsening sleep problems. Like so many things in life, it is about letting go, going with the flow. Sleep needs to become a natural rhythm like breathing, something that comes automatically and you don’t think about.
SOLUTION Let go and go with the flow.
Use the time to practice breathing exercises or meditation and to become aware of how what you eat, what medications you take, what behaviors or certain activities can affect your sleep cycle.
Increase your awareness by paying attention to your body and becoming conscious of how you react to different foods and situations. Use this time productively, instead of getting upset that you can’t fall asleep.
One final point.
For chronic insomniacs, especially if you are heavy snorer, it is a good idea to rule out Sleep Apnea as the cause. This is a serious condition that affects at least 12 million Americans, many of whom have not been diagnosed. Usually they are heavy snorers. What happens is that the tissues at the back of the throat relax and in so doing block the airways. The brain senses oxygen deprivation, and sends wakeup signals. There is a release of adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormone. Not only does this interfere with sleep, it can increase blood pressure, raising your risk of heart problems and stroke. It can also interfere with insulin sensitivity, and increases your risk of diabetes.
by Dr. Frank Lipman
Dave fights killers hero worship
Dave Gunter is someone that i met through another friend on Facebook. I have been following his work over the past couple of months. He is truly an amazing man, doing some amazing things over there in Australia.
He is just another person, on this earth, who is disgusted at the glorification that such terrible lifestyle choices receive these days. (Proof that i am not alone)
Glorifying Carl Williams and his life of crime, is no different from glamorising a life of prostitution and drugs. It is the worst example possible, that society can set for our children.
This man works tirelessly on his "mission to drug proof, divorce proof, recession proof and prison proof our teenagers and young adults"...
What an amazing man. This is the kind of person, who's opinion i value these days.
A FORMER street kid who went on to become a security guard and prison officer after getting his life in order has launched a national campaign to confront the cult growing around convicted killer and drug dealer Carl Williams.
Dave Gunter, who was expelled from two Coast schools and slept rough on the streets and beaches of Maroochydore as a young teenager, has been so horrified by the “I Roll with Carl” cult, with its Facebook exposure, eBay T-shirts and other paraphernalia, that he has launched the “I Roll with Dave” campaign in response.
“It just breaks my heart and makes me so angry,” he said of the wave of gangster worship that has swept the country on the back of the Underbelly television series.
Mr Gunter said glorification of criminals and video games that award points for stealing cars and raping prostitutes provided a breeding ground of poor choices and role models for today’s youth.
He said increased divorce rates, families with both parents working and the subsequent reduction of supervision were creating a new environment in which children grew up.
Knife crimes and murders by children were consequences of that changed environment, he said.
Mr Gunter said the whole “I Roll with Carl” campaign glorifies a “murderer and drug-dealing scumbag”.
“If you put drugs into the hands of kids you are a scumbag,” he said.
His mission is to help kids on drugs to change their lives and to also redirect young people from choices that would make their lives a misery.
He agrees that the role models who need the most fixing are those within the family home.
For more information on the “I Roll With Dave” campaign visit the irollwithdave.com.au website or email admin@davidgunter.com.au to contact David directly.
February 23, 2010
Tacky Tacky Tacky
I received an email earlier today telling me that someone's argument/blog had progressed to justifying prostitution as a lifestyle and how tacky it is coming across.
I can only imagine what is being said because i refuse to read it. I refuse to read it because any person who was ever a friend to me and who knows how damaging that kind of lifestyle was to me, and many others would have more respect for me than to sit around and sing the accolades of a sleazy life that is only full of liars, thieves, sleaze, users and drug addicts.
When i first involved myself in that world i used to get shocked at the lengths that the people that i met would go to in order to be deceptive and take and take off anyone and everyone that they came into contact with. I never changed the way i thought. I always did nice things for other people. I always got taken advantage of. People always used me, stole off me, lied to me and betrayed me and my trust. The whole time i was involved in that world i always promised myself that i would never lose what little morals i had left, and behave in the same manner as the people that i had around me.
This is why i always had people hanging around me and i was rarely alone back then. There was never a shortage of people that wanted to take something off me.
That life was damaging to me. It is damaging to everyone that becomes involved in it. I know this because i never met one nice or honest female while i was involved in that life. Every single female that i knew back then used me - just like they use men. They did this because they are so damaged that they see nothing wrong with their actions or the life that they lead. It is all that they know.
Any man with any kind of morals knows that going around using women for sex - and heck even sometimes paying for it - is wrong.
Any woman that resorts to being a whore and tries to pretend that she is some kind of sexually liberated minx who is living a glamorous and happy life while wasted on drugs and / or booze because she can't stand the thought of her next booking - and won't be honest and admit that life is horrible and disgusting is as delusional as she is crazy - and tacky.
I touched on this a long time ago, after reading the blogs of hookers who were trying to make out that their lives were so glamorous. I commented on what a disgusting example to young girls who might read those blogs those women are.
Here is the link to the original post that i did a few months ago.
http://wonderfulnow.blogspot.com/2009/10/glamorising-stuff-that-is-just-not.html
Here are the reasons that i think that a life of prostitution and drugs is wrong - and don't tell me that the two are not ALWAYS intertwined. They are. I never met ONE hooker that was not a drug addict. I met a LOT of hookers while i was involved in that life and there is not ONE exception to that rule.
Prostitution devalues sex and human beings. The woman is nothing more than a object used by a man to obtain an orgasm. He uses her as a toy - a thing - not a person. She also uses the man - for money.
People say, so what's wrong with that? Two consenting adults - he gets what he wants, she gets what she wants - but it's more complicated than that. Most of the women who prostitute themselves have problems either emotional, mental or physical. Many were sexually abused as children and feel they have no value as human beings. Many are on drugs and need to get easy money to support their habit, and there are various other issues they have that the men who use them take advantage of.
It's a very sick and degrading business for both the woman and the man.
It is called the oldest profession for a reason. Into prehistory there have always been women and men who are willing to sell their bodies for money. Some of these people were able to do very well for themselves (Polly Adler, Laura Bell, Theresa Berkeley, to name a few) however the majority of prostitutes suffer greater effects of criminal and medical problems than the average citizen.
On moral grounds, like abortion, prostitution is behaviour that legally, is available, but is destructive emotionally and psychologically. I am not aware of any long term studies about promiscuity, but it calls into question behaviour that intentionally subjects a person to substantially greater health risk than others. Not to mention impacting the sense of self worth, love and other hard to measure datum. Are there some people who just like to use their bodies? Yes. The question is whether or not these people are promiscuous by choice, or are they reacting to underlying psychological or emotional problems?
To me - it's all the slimy sleazy things that attach themselves to prostitution like barnacles on a ship, as well as the actual act - that really make it an immoral activity. Prostitution exploits and denigrates women. It reduces sex to just a bodily function. The spread of sexually transmitted disease tells us that having sex with different people on frequent ocsassions is an abuse of the health of a human being and therefore, by virtue of common sense, is wrong.
I will even go so far as to say that I believe it to be a type of slavery. Any time you are selling your body so that another can control it, and use it for their personal satisfaction and gratification, well, that amounts to slavery to me.
The end.
I can only imagine what is being said because i refuse to read it. I refuse to read it because any person who was ever a friend to me and who knows how damaging that kind of lifestyle was to me, and many others would have more respect for me than to sit around and sing the accolades of a sleazy life that is only full of liars, thieves, sleaze, users and drug addicts.
When i first involved myself in that world i used to get shocked at the lengths that the people that i met would go to in order to be deceptive and take and take off anyone and everyone that they came into contact with. I never changed the way i thought. I always did nice things for other people. I always got taken advantage of. People always used me, stole off me, lied to me and betrayed me and my trust. The whole time i was involved in that world i always promised myself that i would never lose what little morals i had left, and behave in the same manner as the people that i had around me.
This is why i always had people hanging around me and i was rarely alone back then. There was never a shortage of people that wanted to take something off me.
That life was damaging to me. It is damaging to everyone that becomes involved in it. I know this because i never met one nice or honest female while i was involved in that life. Every single female that i knew back then used me - just like they use men. They did this because they are so damaged that they see nothing wrong with their actions or the life that they lead. It is all that they know.
Any man with any kind of morals knows that going around using women for sex - and heck even sometimes paying for it - is wrong.
Any woman that resorts to being a whore and tries to pretend that she is some kind of sexually liberated minx who is living a glamorous and happy life while wasted on drugs and / or booze because she can't stand the thought of her next booking - and won't be honest and admit that life is horrible and disgusting is as delusional as she is crazy - and tacky.
I touched on this a long time ago, after reading the blogs of hookers who were trying to make out that their lives were so glamorous. I commented on what a disgusting example to young girls who might read those blogs those women are.
Here is the link to the original post that i did a few months ago.
http://wonderfulnow.blogspot.com/2009/10/glamorising-stuff-that-is-just-not.html
Here are the reasons that i think that a life of prostitution and drugs is wrong - and don't tell me that the two are not ALWAYS intertwined. They are. I never met ONE hooker that was not a drug addict. I met a LOT of hookers while i was involved in that life and there is not ONE exception to that rule.
Prostitution devalues sex and human beings. The woman is nothing more than a object used by a man to obtain an orgasm. He uses her as a toy - a thing - not a person. She also uses the man - for money.
People say, so what's wrong with that? Two consenting adults - he gets what he wants, she gets what she wants - but it's more complicated than that. Most of the women who prostitute themselves have problems either emotional, mental or physical. Many were sexually abused as children and feel they have no value as human beings. Many are on drugs and need to get easy money to support their habit, and there are various other issues they have that the men who use them take advantage of.
It's a very sick and degrading business for both the woman and the man.
It is called the oldest profession for a reason. Into prehistory there have always been women and men who are willing to sell their bodies for money. Some of these people were able to do very well for themselves (Polly Adler, Laura Bell, Theresa Berkeley, to name a few) however the majority of prostitutes suffer greater effects of criminal and medical problems than the average citizen.
On moral grounds, like abortion, prostitution is behaviour that legally, is available, but is destructive emotionally and psychologically. I am not aware of any long term studies about promiscuity, but it calls into question behaviour that intentionally subjects a person to substantially greater health risk than others. Not to mention impacting the sense of self worth, love and other hard to measure datum. Are there some people who just like to use their bodies? Yes. The question is whether or not these people are promiscuous by choice, or are they reacting to underlying psychological or emotional problems?
To me - it's all the slimy sleazy things that attach themselves to prostitution like barnacles on a ship, as well as the actual act - that really make it an immoral activity. Prostitution exploits and denigrates women. It reduces sex to just a bodily function. The spread of sexually transmitted disease tells us that having sex with different people on frequent ocsassions is an abuse of the health of a human being and therefore, by virtue of common sense, is wrong.
I will even go so far as to say that I believe it to be a type of slavery. Any time you are selling your body so that another can control it, and use it for their personal satisfaction and gratification, well, that amounts to slavery to me.
The end.
Man who shot dead girlfriend may get home detention - Yahoo!Xtra News
Man who shot dead girlfriend may get home detention - Yahoo!Xtra News
This is UNBELIEVABLE!
Funny how the article does not mention that, he had acquired the sawn off shotgun "for their protection" because they were both P addicts, and involved with the supply of methamphetamine.
I cannot BELIEVE that someone who killed someone, then dumped her body on the road outside of the local A and E clinic, then refused to speak to police for three days...could possibly get a lighter sentence than the one that i received.
You have GOT to be kidding me.
Between this and the man caught with 300,000 kiddy porn images on his computer, who was sentenced to only 4 months home detention because "there were no New Zealand victims" ( i didn't realise child pornography was ok as long as you only watched foreign kids ) ...i am absolutely disgusted.
What is wrong with this picture???
MENTAL!
This is UNBELIEVABLE!
Funny how the article does not mention that, he had acquired the sawn off shotgun "for their protection" because they were both P addicts, and involved with the supply of methamphetamine.
I cannot BELIEVE that someone who killed someone, then dumped her body on the road outside of the local A and E clinic, then refused to speak to police for three days...could possibly get a lighter sentence than the one that i received.
You have GOT to be kidding me.
Between this and the man caught with 300,000 kiddy porn images on his computer, who was sentenced to only 4 months home detention because "there were no New Zealand victims" ( i didn't realise child pornography was ok as long as you only watched foreign kids ) ...i am absolutely disgusted.
What is wrong with this picture???
MENTAL!
How would Jesus handle this?
Love each other as I have loved you. - John 15:12 NIV
Something to think about when suggesting that we know anything about unconditional love, or friendship...huh?
That last sentence, is most definitely a bit of advice that i have needed to hear lately!
I have managed to sleep all night, and not wake up until 5am. I think that is a first, since i quit that life. How cool is that? ok so 5am is still WAY too early to even be thinking about crawling out of bed...at least i slept through all the other crazy hours that i usually wake up!
I am so glad that i have had a good sleep. I have to leave here at about 11:30am today, and am not back home until later on this evening. I have things on today, that are all part of improving myself and my life, and then i am picking the girls up at 3:30 and taking them both to the dentist, then won't be home until about 6pm...traffic permitting.
I also have time in between all of that, to squeeze in a run for Nixon. I think i will take him somewhere new today. That will give him some new smells to get excited about. He is all about new smells, that Nixon is.
I think i will try to get a couple more hours of sleep.
x
Are you complaining because someone has disappointed you? Are you keeping score when it comes to gift-giving, initiating phone calls, or picking up the tab? Are you upset because you feel like you give more than you get? Jesus experienced all these things - and more.
His closest friends let Him down. Those He called and counted on often proved to be unreliable and immature. They learned slowly and usually the hard way. One doubted Him, one denied Him, and one even betrayed Him. Yet He forgave them and loved them anyway: '...having loved His own... He loved them unto the end' (John 13:1 NASB).
Jesus loved His friends not because they were worthy of His love, but because His love made them worthy. Love does that!
In his book Knowing God, JI Packer writes, 'There is tremendous relief in knowing that God's love for me is based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst in me. No discovery can disillusion Him in the way I'm often so disillusioned about myself, or quench His determination to bless me. There is great cause for humility in the thought that He sees all the twisted things about me that others don't see. Indeed, He sees more corruption in me than I see in myself. Yet He wants to be my friend, and desires to be my friend, and has given His son to die for me in order for me to realise this purpose.'
So before you react in anger, remember God's grace. Use His Son as your role model and ask yourself, 'How would Jesus handle this?'
Something to think about when suggesting that we know anything about unconditional love, or friendship...huh?
That last sentence, is most definitely a bit of advice that i have needed to hear lately!
I have managed to sleep all night, and not wake up until 5am. I think that is a first, since i quit that life. How cool is that? ok so 5am is still WAY too early to even be thinking about crawling out of bed...at least i slept through all the other crazy hours that i usually wake up!
I am so glad that i have had a good sleep. I have to leave here at about 11:30am today, and am not back home until later on this evening. I have things on today, that are all part of improving myself and my life, and then i am picking the girls up at 3:30 and taking them both to the dentist, then won't be home until about 6pm...traffic permitting.
I also have time in between all of that, to squeeze in a run for Nixon. I think i will take him somewhere new today. That will give him some new smells to get excited about. He is all about new smells, that Nixon is.
I think i will try to get a couple more hours of sleep.
x
February 22, 2010
Solving Problems
Many of us have lived in situations where it was not okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life - our way of dealing with our problems.
Many of us still fear problems. We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do solving it. We miss the point. Problems are a part of life. So are solutions.
A problem does not mean life is negative or horrible. Having a problem does not mean a person is deficient. All people have problems to work through.
We need to learn to focus on solving our problems. First, we make certain that the problem is our problem. If it isn't then our problem is establishing boundaries. Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal, asking for help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go.
Recovery means learning to face and solve problems, knowing they will appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems, and know we are not doing it alone. Having problems does not mean God is picking on us. Some problems are part of life, others are ours to solve, and we will grow in necessary ways in the the process.
Face and solve today's problems. Don't worry needlessly about tomorrow's problems, because when they appear, we'll have the resources necessary to solve them.
Facing and solving problems - working through problems with help from God - means we're living and growing and reaping benefits.
God, help me face and solve my problems today. Help me do my part and let the rest go. I can learn to be a problem solver.
Facing and solving my problems were my biggest hurdle, last year.
Methamphetamine had caused me to feel like everything was hopeless, so there was no point trying. It made me feel as though everything was too hard. It made me feel as though, i was too far gone to ever recover and live a good life again.
Even months after i had stopped, just getting our of bed some mornings was too hard.
I look back now, and i realise that the problems that i went through, such as Tans stealing my money, every week until i dragged myself out of bed, and opened my own bank account, and then raced to WINZ to change the details, were sent to me, in order to force me to realise that nothing was too hard for me.
Every time i actually dragged myself out of bed and faced another problem...i felt lighter. I felt happier. I felt relieved. Never once, did i feel worse.
Every single time, i said to myself "that was not so hard" ... By the end of the year, i had learned that i could face anything that was sent my way. Even a prison sentence...if that was what was meant to be. I knew i would be ok. Not once, in January did i fear my sentencing date. I looked forward to facing it and being that much closer to having all of my nightmares in my past.
I faced that day in court. I faced the possibility of having to see Fred sit there happily watching me in that courtroom with satisfaction on her face, like she had done every other time of my life when i was in a bad place...I faced the judge...i faced the possibility of a prison sentence. I faced having to sit in that hideous cell for the last time...i faced everything. Still, even at the end, i did not have one person that was able to come to court with me to support me that day.
I faced my biggest problem, my biggest fear, and i left the court for the last time on Feb 2nd, a stronger and better person than i have ever been before, in my life. I left that court knowing, that after that, i could face any problem that comes my way.
And i do.
I am grateful for everything that i have been through, and everything that i have learned.
On that note...i am going to make the most of having my bed to myself tonight, because i get the girls back tomorrow night, so it will be back to fighting for space and covers with Jorgia...or the butt dent. Which is the lesser of the two evils??? I have yet to decide.
For tonight though...it's just me, Nixon, and Nixon's annoying wet nose.
Goodnight. x
PS...tonight's viewing...
The girl in the picture...
Who hasn't seen this photo? Everyone has. How many people wonder what became of this young girl, who had been burned by the South Vietnamese Army, with napalm in June 1972?
What an amazing woman. What an inspirational story. She probably would not have turned out to be that amazing and strong person, had she not gone through such a horrific experience.
Everything happens for a reason. It's all part of God's bigger plan.
If you were out in Howick this morning
...or this afternoon....this is the kind of carry on that you would have witnessed thanks to Howick College's athletics day.
I can't recall school ever being as much fun, as this looks...when i was there!
I can't recall school ever being as much fun, as this looks...when i was there!
Coley and her mates.
It pleases me no end...the groups of friends that both of my daughters have. What a neat bunch of girls. I hope they realise just how valuable those friendships are.
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