Half pleased

I forgot to mention the reason why i was only "Half pleased" with myself regarding how i handled the Nicole situation this morning.

OK so i didn't lose my temper, or anything else, and resort to yelling and swearing like i would have a couple of years ago...but i didn't really do anything else either.

I know that she knew she was wrong and felt stink about it. I saw her wandering up the road to Ann's after school before she saw me and she was not looking very happy with herself. We had a good talk, and she has been fantastic tonight. She has been my wonderful Nicole that emerges every so often...again tonight.

I cringe to think of the kind of trouble that i would have been in, had i ever spoken to my Dad the way she spoke to me this morning...in fact i cringe at the punishments that i did get...for a lot less.

I need to find a way to discipline. I am struggling with this. I had a good talk to Nick about it and he says i need to practice saying NOOOOOO. I will do this. I need to do this anyway, as so often lately, i have put myself under huge pressure trying to get them to and from places with their friends etc...while on the limited time i am allowed to go anywhere.

That is about the only time that i get stressed these days...when i am trying to race around and keep them happy and then get back home in time, usually with only seconds to spare. My neighbours must wonder why i speed up my driveway so fast! At least at my new home though....i don't have to park my car ages away, and make a run for my front door! The girls and i were laughing about how, a couple of times i pulled into my old car port and just jumped out of the car to make a run for it...and forgot the hand brake etc...i don't have to worry about that here. I either park in the garage, or right outside my front door.

Anyway...so yeah...i am going to work on the discipline thing. It's my new challenge for myself. I am not doing anyone any favours by letting her think the world revolves around her. I have spent nearly a year, doing absolutely everything i could to keep those girls happy, because of the guilt that i was feeling. I need to get over that guilt, and stop doing everything for those girls...before i create a monster that no one can control.

Sooo...that is why i was only half happy.

I am not sure i am going to make it to 9:30 to watch Underbelly! My eyes are heavy now. ):