March 14, 2010

Why do people give up on us?

A man who has friends must himself be friendly - Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

Do you have a hard time keeping friends? There's a reason! People give up on us when they don't feel valued. George and Mary Lou were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. A reporter asked George, 'What's your recipe for a long, happy marriage?' George explained that after the wedding his father-in-law handed him a package. Inside it was a gold watch that George still used. He showed it to the reporter. Across the face of the watch where he could see it a dozen times a day, were written the words, 'Say something nice to Mary Lou'.

We all need that watch!

In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell writes about a relationship expert who was able to predict the potential success of a couple's marriage based on their interaction with one another. What was it he looked for that indicated a marriage was headed for trouble? Contempt! If one treated the other with contempt the relationship was usually doomed to fail.

Now, insincerity and flattery don't work. For a person to feel valued they must know you genuinely value them. To feel respected, they must know you genuinely respect them. When we devalue others we start treating them like objects, not people. So what is the solution? Focus on their strengths, and eventually they'll give you the right to help them in their areas of struggle.

Too many of us are good at finding the value in an opportunity or a deal. We need to develop the same mindset when it comes to building relationships.

I value the good people that i have in my life, like it is no one's business now. I will never again, lose the friendships and relationships that have come back into my life, and offered me so much support, and allowed me to be proud of who i am...i will never stop valuing those people, and the good people that come into my life in the future.

Perhaps, being surrounded by people that were under the influence of P and so evil, for what seemed an eternity, helped me realise just how much i took for granted before.

Never again.

Every single person that has come back into my life, and offered me support is GOLD to me. I will never let them forget that.

I will never ever EVER...not appreciate it when i have good people in my life. I will never ever EVER not recognise it when i have bad people in my life.

I have been guilty of both, in the past. NEVER again.

So to my Dad and Monica, Tracey and Tim (and bug), Kari and Zekie, Billy, Nicole, Jorgia, Nick, Ann and Deryk, Tracey, Sharon and Greg, Nicky, Anni, Angela, Sharyn, Rianna, Theresa and my adopted daughter Melissa, Gary, Colin, Caroline, Teddy, Dan, Caity....the list goes on and on ....THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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