I had a stink sleep in the heat, while trying to get comfortable in the butt dent last night. I overslept, and woke up to very grumpy girls who were mad at me because their freshly washed uniforms had lint all over the skirts. It was ten minutes before we had to leave...timing is everything when you only have two hours to get to Howick and back in rush hour traffic....and my beef with their new school uniforms is a whole other post, that i will do later tonight!
So my day started off, hot and sticky, tired, with two very grumpy and moaning teenage girls. Even the chicken wraps that i made them for their lunches were not good enough because i did not put enough lettuce in them.
I got home and played on my blog for awhile. I was a bit taken aback by a comment left on a previous post...i don't think i really have to prove that there are broke, unemployed, women with children, who are struggling to make ends meet everywhere, and most of them do not resort to selling their bodies for a living. I don't think i have heard of anyone dying of starvation in New Zealand, lately, so they all must get by by making sacrifices and surviving on what they have been blessed to have, however little that seems.
I don't have time to listen to excuses for why someone makes that choice.
I went 7 months without a washing machine until recently. I hand washed my clothes for 7 months.
I live in the least nicest and smallest home i have ever lived in, because it is cheap and i can afford it. My 13 year old daughter sleeps in my bed with me, because the second bedroom has a double bed sized futon in it, and is too crowded when both of them are in there.
I don't have a social life, and didn't even before my sentence was imposed. This was because i could not afford to go out drinking and wasting money on other things, when i needed to feed myself and my children.
I have my children half the time, yet i am not entitled to the DPB like other women are...i actually have to PAY child support to my ex...who i must admit is a wonderful ex who i am lucky enough to say pays their school fees and other big expenses, so i don't begrudge the child support that i pay...never the less i survive on less than what a woman on the DPB would survive on.
3 weeks in a row last year, a so called friend of mine stole my weekly income off me...so sue me for receiving a little bit of help from a couple of friends who cared that i felt so grateful to be eating two minute noodles instead of pancakes for the third night in a row...Nixon ate pancakes too, because i could not afford dog food.
The warrant on my car ran out in September, and i am only just now caught up on the rent that fell behind when my "friend" stole my money, and able to get that sorted.
I cannot remember the last time i went to a hairdresser and actually paid for a haircut. I can't afford nice moisturisers, perfumes, makeup, etc or new clothes to make myself look nice.
My only hobby or extravagance over the last 7 months has been the money that i have spent on my vegetable garden.
Today, after i pay my rent...i will have $53.00 to last me until next Thursday.
Have i ONCE considered going back to that seedy and hideous life that was only full of liars, cheats, druggies, sleaze, and thieves?
NEVER...Not ONCE.
So don't come on to my blog and complain to me about getting some bread and milk brought to me after i was sentenced and could not go out to buy them myself. Don't come onto my blog and give me a sob story about not being able to get a job or feed your kid. Don't complain to me about how hard it is to live on the DPB.
I won't buy it...but then i am not a man, sucking up to you, and pretending to buy it, in order to get cheap sex.
It is no one else's choice but YOURS to be a prostitute. You make that choice because you put more importance on material things, and your social life, than you do on your own self respect. Don't blame the man that just broke your heart. It is your choice...not his. He was not supporting you before you found out he was still married...so what has changed now?
Don't come on to my blog and insinuate that i have not made sacrifices, in order to lead the healthier and happier life that i lead today, free of scumbag lowlifes.
Sometimes what may seem like the harder road...turns out to be the easier road. I would not change a thing about my life right now. It has been hard, but it has been worth it, and will continue to be worth it. Your choice of roads may seem the easier one at the moment...but in the long run it will cost you so much more than anything that could ever have a price tag put on it.
I made no "wild assumptions" when it came to my earlier post. I was commenting on what i had read, that you had written in your own words on your own blog.
On that note...today i am grateful for...
The fact that my daughters and i can be grumpy at each other when we leave home, and laughing by the time i drop them at school.
The reminders that i am sent of how hideous that life and the people that came with it was / is.
For the cold drink and laugh that i got to share with a friend this afternoon.
For cold showers and watermelon.
For how busy i was today.
For the weekend with my girls and their friends that i have to look forward to.
Back later. News time. I have a major beef with Howick College and their new uniforms!
February 18, 2010
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5 comments:
I see that "saint" eden has taken her blog down.
I was thinking that normal people, people who are not hookers...or crackhos...or stalkers of hookers, help their friends when they get in trouble. The difference between them and a normal person is that their is no ulterior motive in such a gift....it is not a transaction but what NORMAL people do for friends in need.
When i did my original post...it was well intentioned. It was trying to lift her up and make her realise that she can do it without resorting to that, and that i thought she was way better than that life.
I genuinely had hoped, after reading how distraught she seemed to be with "having" to return to that life, that i could make her realise that she is better than that, and didn't HAVE to return to it.
Her reaction and insinuation that i have had it easy...made me sick.
You are right...friends help others, and expect nothing in return. It is not a business transaction, like everything that everyone does, who is involved in that life.
Obviously she does not grasp that concept. No one involved in that world does. Like attracts like. I never met one person while involved in that life, that did not have an agenda.
I now have to wonder, if she would have fallen so hard for him, had he not been as loaded as he is. I doubt it.
That is my final say on the matter.
Yay for rain and cooler weather today!
Actually, that is NOT my final say on the matter. I have one more thing to add.
I actually DECLINED an offer of help from the man with the reincarnated wife, back when my income had been stolen off me. He offered to help me and i said ...thanks but no thanks...i need to fix this on my own.
I did that, not because i was not in a desperate situation and did not need help. I declined his offer to help me, because i knew the offer came with expectations.
THAT is my final say on the matter.
I am not even going to bother reading the writings of a woman that can only quit being a hooker when a man with lots of money makes her all sorts of false promises...and then runs straight back to it as soon as he does not fulfill those promises.
Keep coming on to my blog and making an absolutely idiot of yourself. It does not bother me.
At the end of the day....you waste your money on BOOZE AND E..according to our mutual "friends" ...so i would not be criticising me on anything that i USED to involve myself in.
Weren't you out...wasted on E and getting drunk on the same night after you got the phone call from the wife? That is what i was told.
What a way for a woman who i s so worried about putting food on her table to behave. You must be SOOOO stressed about it.
I have been told how you have always referred to me as a "Slut"...yet i put my feelings regarding that aside and still tried to tell you that you were too good for that life. So seriously...cry me a river...I can't believe you ended your disgusting comment with "stop trying to hurt me" ...you made coffee come out my nose when i read that lol
By the way...i hardly think you are in any position to be commenting on anyone else's level of promiscuity. A pot and a kettle come to mind.
As i have said before...I am done with that life and that includes the people in it. I will not be publishing or responding to any more of your comments.
Run along and make some money "for your son" ...enjoy that seedy life and those E pills that everyone knows you are always on.
Don't sit there and blame it on Graeme though. He managed a lucky escape, and most likely realises that..hence his silence.
You are not a victim. The fact that you ran straight back to whoring the same day his wife emerged shows exactly what your motives were in regards to him.
If it was not so disgusting, it would be amusing.
Saint eden...hooker and pill popper.
You are doing the right thing Dont worry about this poison.
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