Over the past week or so, i have been, not so much shocked, but more interested in a "Nothing surprises me anymore" way, in relation to someone that i know and the seemingly double life that he has led for several years.
This is a person that offered me support and advice, and showed concern for my well being while i was in a terrible place, and while i climbed out of that terrible place, and got my life to a place where it is now better than ever.
A week ago, the woman that he had told me he "was so in love that when he looked in to this woman's eyes he saw everything that he wanted for his future" ...received a phone call from his wife.
It was not even a long distance call...despite his wife being dead for the past several years, according to what he told everyone in his little imaginary second life. I am sure this was a surprise to her, when she found out she was dead.
I am not going to rattle on about how his actions have not really surprised me all that much, and how they just remind me of how hideous 99.9% of the people that i met while involved in such a hideous and seedy life, were. How they just remind me of why i am so glad that i changed my life and do not have to have people like that in my life anymore. Everyone knows how happy i am to have moved on, and only have good people in my life now.
The woman that he was so in love with, until his wife reincarnated, is a prostitute. They met when he made a booking with her. That is when they "fell in love"...although in my (maybe all too realistic eyes) i don't see where any relationship could possibly go, after paying the other for sex/having sex with the other for money. I just don't believe in the old "Pretty Woman" fairytale...i make no apologies for that.
Anyway...when these two met, the woman stopped working as a prostitute. She was relieved to do so, and thought that she would never again, have to do that kind of work ...ever again.
She was right...despite the fact that this man turned out to be a deceptive snake who appears to have broken her heart...she never had to return to being a prostitute.
She has though.
I have something that i have wanted to say about this, for the past week or so, and until now, i have been quiet. I can't any longer though.
No one HAS to live that life, and you will only ever get away from that world, once you decide that you are better than that, and quit for yourself. Don't wait till you have something else, like a relationship, to quit that hideous life for. Quit it because you know that you are better than that and you want to quit for yourself.
Quitting for anyone other than yourself will always be a fail.
In New Zealand, no one has to be a prostitute. Our socialised economy takes care of the basic essentials for anyone who needs help. I have been broke, and on the bones, while waiting for the conclusion to my court case, and now while i get on with my sentence etc...
BUT...every week i have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and all of the other bare essentials that i need. Would i like to have a lot more money to do lots of things with? I sure would. Would i resort to that kind of life, in order to get that money?
Hell no.
That is because i quit that kind of seedy life for ME. I am more important and better than money, or material possessions. So is everyone else that is involved in a life of prostitution and / or drugs.
Quit that life, for YOURSELF. YOU are better than that.
On that note...i am going back to sleep.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
February 18, 2010
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3 comments:
I have not returned to that life because of this.
I have returned because i have been on the bones of my arse for months.
I have been actively been trying to find work over the last few months with no joy.
I was in the process of leaving BEFORE i met him.
I have not had people pay for groceries for me. Buy me things to help me through.
And i am doing this while i await the replys of yet more applications.
'Todays job market is tough. Very tough.
I do not need to go through my outstanding employment record to justify me.
But if i cant find a job enough to sustain myself and my son, then every one is having problems.
BUT i do need to pay for high shcool, put food on the table, pay for petrol, power etc etc etc etc..And no also have to pay for a very expensive medical test.
Now that this fuckwit is out of my life, there is no reason why i shouldnt put food on my dam table.
So while i appreciate your thoughts in the other blog, I would appreciate your silence in this one..
This is how i feel. I can't and won't apologise for that. I just believe that when you make the right choices, things fall in to place.
My blog is for me...to speak my mind. I don't really think that anyone has the right to tell me otherwise.
You don't have to agree with anything that i say. No one does. I do not write in my blog in the hope that everyone will agree with everything i say.
I believe that you are better than anything that life has to offer you, and nothing will change until you realise that.
Yes, i feel very fortunate to have the friends that i now have in my life. Friends that are not just takers, and if i need help they offer it without the expectation of anything other than my gratitude in exchange.
People that i have in my life now, know that i am doing my best. I don't spend money going out drinking, or having a social life. I couldn't afford to, so i didn't. I have sacrificed a LOT to be able to get by, and don't appreciate the insinuation to the contrary.
When we live a good life that we are proud of, we attract these kinds of people into our lives. When we live a life that we are ashamed of, we attract the likes of the man in question.
This post was not meant as an insult to you. Rather the opposite.
I have never remained silent regarding anything else that i have wanted to talk about on my blog, and i am not about to start now.
I am sorry if you feel that i have made assumptions regarding your life. I was basing my comments on what i had read on your own blog.
Words that i had assumed you had written and were your feelings.
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