I woke up to take Nixon out

at 2am and 4am. I am not really having any issues sleeping, at the moment. I still wake up every couple of hours...take Nixon out to the yard in case he needs go wees. I then come back to bed and pretty much go straight back to sleep.

This morning though, i noticed emails from my sister. She too, had emailed me and talked to me about our mother. I love Tracey so much. I feel like she really is the only person in this world who can understand exactly how i feel about my mother, and why. I am not saying that she agrees with everything i say or think ( i would not wish the wrath of my mother on her, so would never imply that )

Our conversation was brief, because my eyes were heavy, and i am sure that it will carry on in the days to come, as i work through the feelings that i am having at the moment, and she listens and helps me.

I love you Tracey, and am so grateful for you.

My last comment to her this morning before i went back to sleep, sums up exactly what i am dealing with when it comes to my mother, and why it upsets me so much.

I thought the worst thing that she could ever have done to me was not care when i was a suicidal drug addicted hooker...until she showed anger that i have recovered and fixed my life.

I am hoping that is the last comment on my blog, that i will ever make about my mother. I am going to try my best.

Good morning! Attempt number 3 to watch A Mighty Heart! This is in no way, a suggestion that the movie is boring. Quite the opposite actually...i was just really tired last night. No idea why, but i was.

X