Gosh...such mixed feelings i have right now

I am like a big huge feeling milkshake, at the moment.

I just arrived back home from returning the girls to Nick, out in Waiuku. I was supposed to take them back sometime this afternoon, or evening. I was going to keep them until after dinner tonight, but we left here about 2pm this afternoon.

I miss them so much already...but part of me thinks...phew, i now get a break from being their cleaning lady, ATM machine, lolly dispenser, taxi, their personal isp, chef, and having to be at their beck and call with not so much as a thank you at the end of it, when i dropped them off.

They have really frustrated and disappointed me, these last few days. The more it went on, the more i started to resent the fact that they come and stay with me, clean me out, and then just trot off back to Nick's without a second thought for how i cope, in between their visits.

I think seeing Nicole, on the desktop, and Jorgia with both my laptop and her laptop in the lounge, then asking if i could have mine back for a few minutes, and getting grief and talking back for asking to use my own laptop, was the straw this afternoon.

They have gotten to the point where they can't even take their own dishes to the sink, without me having to ask them to do it, and then them proceeding to make a stink about having to do that...like i am some horrible mean mum.

Their self centred and lazy behaviour upset me to the point where i was in tears this afternoon, and i took them home earlier than i had planned.

I spoke to Nick about it, and he was supportive. I know from things that they tell me, that they try that behaviour on at Nick's but don't get away with it quite as much as at my place.

I need to learn how to be the boss, in my home, without making them hate me. There has to be a happy medium between being their friend, and being their mother. I just have to find it.

The next couple of weeks with Nick will do them good. They have spent by far, more time with me than with him these past couple of months. He has been missing them, for a change, lately.

Now it's my turn, i guess. My home is so quiet, i miss them.

I suppose i better go clean their room that they thought i would not notice, how messy it is, if they closed the door.

I cried to Dan on the phone about it, just before. He seems to think all teenage girls are like this, and added that he does not envy me. That didn't help ...much.